IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that homework should be given every day. Others think that it gives children under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Many parents prefer the idea of homework to their children but others think that it causes stress. I strongly agree with balancing
due to
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 that they are in an early stage and need some space to relieve their energy. One major advantage of giving students assignments on a daily basis
,
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 is allowing them to keep on tracking the learned topics at school which will support their knowledge during their preparation for exams. Unlike, not offering any task until a certain time,
this
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 will have a negative impact on the education level.
For instance
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, exam preparation differs from one person to another
due to
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 the applied effort depending on the practice after each lecture. In conclusion, In my opinion, balancing has a significant impact on avoiding any pressure. Children should gain
this
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 skill from a young age.
Although
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,
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 it will be difficult at the beginning ,
this
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 will give them the opportunity to grow and achieve their goals in the near future.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear, but you might want to specify more clearly what you mean by 'balancing.' Additionally, ensure that your opinion aligns more closely with the points you discuss in the body.
task achievement
Consider elaborating on the negative effects of too much homework to give a clearer picture of the opposing view. Providing more balanced perspectives will enhance the depth and strength of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to connect your ideas smoothly between paragraphs. Using linking devices can help improve the flow of your essay and guide the reader through your points more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your perspective, but you can strengthen it by briefly reiterating the main arguments you presented in the body of the essay. A more insightful conclusion can leave a lasting impression.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion on the topic and support it with relevant reasoning.
coherence and cohesion
Your writing is generally clear and conveys your message well, providing a good foundation for your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • reinforce
  • retention
  • study habits
  • time management skills
  • overwhelm
  • well-being
  • extracurricular activities
  • balanced approach
  • negative attitude
  • disengage
  • motivation
  • flexible approach
  • overall development
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