IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Topic: some experts believethat it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school

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In recent years, the topic of learning foreign
languages
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 has become an important part of the educational program .
While
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 some individuals contend that it still much debate about when
children
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 should start learning a foreign
language
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 , some people believe that
children
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 should start learning foreign
languages
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 in elementary
shool
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school
show examples
, rather than middle
school
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, in order to develop their
language
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skills
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 effectively. On the one hand. , it is essential to recognize that individuals should acknowledge the
signficant
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significant
 advantages associated with
of
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apply
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foreign
language
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 learning in primary
school
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 . A crucial
condireration
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consideration
 is
thats
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that
 helps increase
co fidence
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self-confidence
 develop
language
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skills
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 , improve learning
anility
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ability
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.
For example
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 ,
children
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 have the ability to learn and develop faster when they are young , learning a foreign
language
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inpromary
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in primary
chool
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school
 helps
children
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 develop and become more confident when communicating with foreigners ,
this
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 will make
children
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 able to develop social
skills
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 and communicate more effectively
achieve
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and achieve
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sesults
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results
 in the future . On the
ther
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other
 hand , it is crucial to examine the opposing viewpoint
that
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is for
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children
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 who need to develop writing , reading and speaking
skills
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 before learning a foreign
language
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 , can cause
children
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 to become overwhelmed , it is necessary to emphasize that foreign
language
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learningfor
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learning for
learning
primary
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in primary
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school
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 plays an
improtant
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important
 role in
this
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 discussion.
This
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confims
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confirms
 the fact that foreign
language
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 learning is very
improtant
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important
, helping
children
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 to communicate with foreigners , early foreign
language
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 , nowadays they are very indulgent about foreign
language
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learing
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learning
children
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 who know foreign
languages
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 early can be
benificial
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beneficial
 in all aspects. In conclusion , a comprehensive analysis of the differing perspectives on problems for
children
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learing
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learning
 foreign
languages
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 in primary
school
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 underscores the
completies
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complexities
 involved in comparing the enjoyment of live performances to that of televised events. It is
also
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 necessary for
children
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 to start studying foreign
languages
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 ​​at elementary schools, but they
also
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 need to have
an
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apply
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appropriate support and instruction to help
children
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 achieve their learning goals.

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language
Make sure to proofread your essay for spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'signficant' instead of 'significant', 'inpromary' instead of 'in primary', 'improtant' instead of 'important').
content
Try to develop your ideas more fully. For example, in your second paragraph, consider providing a specific example or evidence to support the idea that children can become overwhelmed if they learn a foreign language too early.
structure
Ensure that each paragraph has clear topic sentences that directly relate to the main argument of your essay. Some sentences seem to lack clarity and directing coherence from one idea to another.
cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to link your ideas more smoothly, helping readers follow your argument better (e.g., instead of 'On the other hand,' use 'Conversely' or 'In contrast').
content
You provided a clear stance on the topic, advocating for early foreign language learning which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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