IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

People think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others believe that there are other alternative solutions for reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion on this topic.

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The debate over how to effectively reduce
crime
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 continues to divide opinion.
While
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 some argue that imposing longer
prison
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sentences
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 is the most effective way to deter criminal activity, others believe that alternative solutions,
such
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 as
rehabilitation
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 programs and social reforms, are more successful in addressing the root causes of
crime
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. In my opinion,
although
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 extended
prison
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 terms may temporarily curb
crime
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, a more comprehensive approach involving
rehabilitation
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 and prevention is far more beneficial in the long run.
To begin
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 with, supporters of longer
prison
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sentences
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 assert that severe punishments serve as a powerful deterrent to potential offenders. The fear of spending many years behind bars is believed to discourage individuals from engaging in criminal activities.
Furthermore
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, lengthy incarceration prevents offenders from committing
further
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 crimes, thereby enhancing public safety.
For instance
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, countries with strict sentencing policies,
such
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 as the United States, often highlight a reduction in repeat
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
 as evidence of
this
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 strategy's effectiveness.
However
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, despite these arguments, it is evident that high
crime
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 rates persist in
such
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 regions, suggesting that longer
sentences
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 alone may not address the underlying issues effectively.
On the other hand
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, those who advocate for alternative methods emphasize tackling the fundamental causes of
crime
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,
such
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 as poverty, lack of education, and unemployment.
For example
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,
rehabilitation
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 programs that focus on providing offenders with education, vocational skills, and psychological support have proven to reduce recidivism significantly.
Moreover
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, preventive measures, including community-based initiatives and improved access to social services, can deter individuals from turning to
crime
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initially
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. Countries like Norway, which prioritize
rehabilitation
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 over punishment, boast some of the lowest reoffending rates worldwide, demonstrating the effectiveness of
this
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 approach. In conclusion,
while
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 longer
prison
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sentences
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 may act as a short-term deterrent, the advantages of alternative solutions,
such
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 as
rehabilitation
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 and preventive strategies, are undeniable. A balanced approach that addresses both the symptoms and causes of
crime
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 is essential for creating a safer and more just society.

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task achievement
Consider expanding on your main points with more detailed examples or statistics to strengthen your argument, particularly in the section discussing the effectiveness of rehabilitation programs.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates back to your thesis statement, reinforcing your main argument throughout the essay. This will improve the clarity of your overall position.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, main body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
You present a well-rounded discussion by acknowledging both view points before stating your opinion, which enhances the evaluation of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • habitual offenders
  • retribution
  • rehabilitation
  • overcrowding
  • recidivism
  • community service
  • restorative justice
  • crime prevention programs
  • youth mentorship
  • neighborhood watch
  • justice system
  • re-offending
  • financial strain
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