Some people think that teenagers should do unpaid work to help society because this will help them to be better individuals and also improve the society a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this proposal?

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There is an idea that argues young people must have unpaid jobs to serve society. It will improve their social abilities, communication
skills
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, and so on.
Additionally
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, having responsibilities like
this
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will improve the whole population.
This
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essay completely agrees with
this
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opinion, and in the essay, explanations, arguments, and some examples will be provided to support
this
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view.
Firstly
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, engaging in unpaid activities is beneficial for teenagers' future careers. These experiences allow them to develop valuable
skills
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and gain practical knowledge in their fields.
For example
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, a teenager volunteering at a local hospital may learn important
skills
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such
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as teamwork, communication, and time management, all of which are essential for any future profession. These experiences not only enhance their resumes but
also
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provide them with a clearer understanding of what they want to do in their careers. Having voluntary work for the younger generation of the population has several advantages for the public. One of the reasons for
this
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is that it provides a workforce for communities and helps boost productivity.
For instance
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, young volunteers working in environmental clean-up projects can significantly contribute to the improvement of public areas like parks.
This
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way, the government can use its resources for more important tasks. In conclusion, having unpaid jobs for young people benefits both teenagers and society. It helps to improve
skills
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for personal development and
also
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enhances society as a whole.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating more on your arguments to provide a clearer understanding of your points. For example, you could discuss how volunteering impacts the development of empathy and social awareness in teenagers.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the transitions between your ideas and paragraphs for better flow. Using linking words or phrases can help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
task achievement
While your examples are relevant, expanding on them to showcase their impact more deeply could strengthen your overall argument. For instance, you could explain how the teamwork skills learned in volunteering lead to positive outcomes in various work environments later on.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic and provides relevant examples to support the arguments, which is commendable.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction effectively outlines the main ideas and sets the direction for the essay, making it easy for the reader to understand your position.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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