IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The use of
animals
Use synonyms
 in experiments is a controversial topic. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that animal testing is wrong and should be banned,
while
Linking Words
 others think that it is necessary for scientific progress. I disagree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the statement. Both
wievs
Correct your spelling
views
 have reasons and it is important to consider both sides. On the one hand,
people
Use synonyms
 who oppose animal testing argue is cruel and causes a lot of suffering to
animals
Use synonyms
. Creatures have feelings, and subjecting them to experiments can cause pain, stress and even death.
For example
Linking Words
, many
animals
Use synonyms
 are tested with drugs or chemicals that cause harm and that can raise ethical concerns about the treatment of
animals
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, supporters of animal experimentation argue that it is essential for medical and scientific discoveries.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 animal testing has led to the development of vaccines and medicines that have saved millions of lives.
For instance
Linking Words
, testing insulin on critters has made it possible for
people
Use synonyms
 with diabetes to live longer and healthier lives. In my opinion,
people
Use synonyms
 can learn
Use synonyms
animals
Change preposition
about animals
show examples
 in experiments,
while
Linking Words
 there are alternatives to animal testing
such
Linking Words
 as computer
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 method can sometimes replace
animals
Use synonyms
 in
Add an article
the trial
a trial
show examples
trial
Fix the agreement mistake
trials
show examples
,
however
Linking Words
, it is not always as effective as wildlife analysis. In conclusion, animal testing has both advantages and disadvantages.
While
Linking Words
 it has led to important medical advances, it
also
Linking Words
 raises ethical concerns. Finding alternative methods should be a priority to reduce the need for beast study.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Strengthen the introduction by clearly stating your position on the topic and the main points you will discuss.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to it.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and evidence to support your claims about both sides of the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clarify the connection between animal testing and the alternatives proposed; explain how the alternatives can be applied.
Task Achievement
You presented both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion adequately summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
What to do next:
Look at other essays: