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Band 6

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory jobs or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #situation #jobs #shortage #money #situations
In
life
, bad situations,
such
 as unsatisfactory jobs or financial problems are inevitable and we must deal with them no matter what. It is often argued that the best way to handle a difficult  situation is by accepting it,
while
 others disagree and think that it is better to not give up and improve
such
 situations.
This
 essay agrees that the right way to deal with a bad
aituation
Correct your spelling
situation
 is by fighting and not submitting to it. A difficult situation tends to take a toll on someone's state of mind, to the point it can lead to depression. Having to deal with numerous hurdles in
life
 is not something that everyone can take.
For instance
, a woman who lost her husband early in their marriage was left with tons of debt and she couldn't barely afford rent. In the end, she resorted to forcing her own child to drink poison alongside her because she has given up on
life
 and doesn't want to suffer anymore.
However
, many people will not simply submit to an obstacle but rather try to find a solution to resolve that matter. To illustrate, a famous and eccentric attorney, Kathleen Martinez , better known as Attorney Martinez faced numerous prejudice in her first workplace because of her gender and she wasn't given much opportunity to showcase her ability. Still,
instead
 of being discouraged by it, she quit her job and opened her own practice where she only hired young female lawyers. Personally, I'm leaning towards the option to keep moving forward despite the problems I have to face because I believe that as long as I am still breathing, it means I still have a chance to improve the quality of my
life
 and it is not impossible to turn around a difficult situation.
To conclude
, it is thought that the most reasonable option when we are faced with a harsh reality is to give up. Even so, I am certain that resilience is the key to
break-free
Correct your spelling
breaking free
show examples
 from
such
 situations and the opportunity to improve our lives still exists.
Submitted by fadhlannaufaall on

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Coherence Cohesion
Focus on developing your main points with more clear and specific examples. While your main ideas are present, enhancing them with relevant details will provide a stronger argument and improve your score in supported main points.
Coherence Cohesion
Ensure there is a clear logical structure throughout the essay by organizing ideas more effectively and using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will help your essay flow better and improve the logical structuring of your arguments.
Task Achievement
Aim to completely address the task by discussing both views thoroughly. Ensure that both perspectives on the issue are explored equally and provide a balanced consideration before giving your opinion to improve the complete response score.
Task Achievement
Clarify and expand upon your ideas to ensure that they are comprehensive. Adding more analysis and depth to each argument can enrich your essay and enhance the clarity of your ideas.
Task Achievement
Enhance your essay by using specific and relevant examples for each point made. This strengthens your arguments and helps to clearly demonstrate your understanding of the topic, which can boost your score in the relevant specific examples criteria.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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