IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that public facilities (e.g. zoos, museums, parks)should be free. Other people think that you should pay to use these facilities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

4.5 / 9
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Introduction
pay
fee
Use synonyms
 to entrance
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
certain facilities is suitable for a group of
people
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 others think it
shuold
Correct your spelling
should
 be without
fee
Use synonyms
 .I
agrees
Change the verb form
agree
show examples
 with
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
 to
interested
Add a missing verb
be interested
show examples
 in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
differents
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
places
Use synonyms
 like
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
show examples
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
 and
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
.
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
bothe
Correct your spelling
both
argue
Replace the word
arguments
show examples
.
Body paragraph 1
the
people
Use synonyms
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 they
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 responsible
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the entrance
fee
Use synonyms
 for
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 mentioned location .larg
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 find it
diffcult
Correct your spelling
difficult
 to pay for each
mambers
Correct your spelling
members
member
 it will cost so they prefer to enjoy
this
Linking Words
place
Use synonyms
 without any
fee
Use synonyms
 ,add to that the
place
Use synonyms
 will be
mesrible
Correct your spelling
miserable
memorable
 and not clean so ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 disagree because there is
special
Add an article
a special
show examples
 offer and the amount of the
fee
Use synonyms
 is not costly ,
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 some facilities provide
free
Add an article
a free
show examples
 ticket for a
membar
Correct your spelling
member
 age under 10 . on
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 the
people
Use synonyms
 will never care about the importance of
this
Linking Words
place
Use synonyms
 .
Body paragraph 2
wheares
Correct your spelling
whereas
wheres
 other
people
Use synonyms
 agree to pay for
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 facilities .
it is
Verb problem
It
show examples
 will help to
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
 a
sens
Correct your spelling
sense
show examples
 of
resposbility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 and will help to keep the
place
Use synonyms
cleaning
Replace the word
clean
show examples
 and
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 more
values
Fix the agreement mistake
value
show examples
.
Indevidual
Correct your spelling
Individual
Individuals
 will be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the significance and how
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 will affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 behaviour ,I agree with them and I believe it will help to develop the country and will lead to
attract
Change the verb form
attracting
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism ,for
clearfy
Correct your spelling
clarify
clearly
 the museums
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 one of the best
places
Use synonyms
 who need to let
people
Use synonyms
 pay
fee
Use synonyms
 because it
contian
Correct your spelling
contain
contains
 a value and costly staff and if we keep it safe will help to increase the tourist sector.
Conclusion
To sum up
Linking Words
,
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
Use synonyms
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
 the historical and
importainc
Correct your spelling
important
places
Use synonyms
 to make sure all citizens will enjoy
without
Correct pronoun usage
them without
show examples
 any
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
 and all
people
Use synonyms
 will know the
values
Fix the agreement mistake
value
show examples
 of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
places
Use synonyms
 in the country.

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task achievement
Your introduction contains spelling errors and some grammatical mistakes. Make sure to clarify your opinion more clearly and correctly.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs are clearly organized. Each paragraph should contain one main idea that is clearly introduced and supported.
task achievement
Provide clearer and more specific examples to support your points. This will help strengthen your argument and make your ideas more relatable.
task achievement
You successfully present both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the topic. This is a good critical thinking approach!
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your stance on the issue, which is important in essay writing.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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