IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people think that important things in life are mostly free or can’t be bought. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, many
people
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 believe that the most important
things
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 in life are free and cannot be bought. I strongly agree with
this
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 view because of intangible
things
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 like health, emotions, and professional career.
This
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 essay will discuss my opinion with clear reasons and examples. One main reason is that
money
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 cannot purchase emotions and feelings like sadness, happiness, and anxiety, but
money
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 can help us to buy or offer
things
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 that make
people
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 feel happy or sad.
For example
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, buying a gift for a friend will make him or her feel happy,
while
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 happiness cannot be found in a supermarket or in a mall. Another point is that
money
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 can help
people
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 to become healthier, to become healthy.
This
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 can be achieved by buying healthy snacks or food or enrolling in a gym, which has a positive long-term effect on well-being.
Furthermore
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, with
money
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,
people
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 can study abroad, which they can use to pay their tuition fees and
also
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 if they need and offer any extra needs,
such
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 as a private teacher or online courses, in order to develop their understanding.
For example
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, a study published in 2009 in Saudi Arabia stated that 15% of students who travelled to study or pursue their education where the government gave them
money
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 to encourage them and help them in a new place. In conclusion, I firmly reject the view that
money
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 cannot buy
things
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, important
things
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, and the evidence clearly supports my position. And from my perspective,
money
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 has a lot of variations in all aspects, not only in health, emotions and professional career.

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Structure
Put your view in a clear claim at the end of the first paragraph and keep your stance in every paragraph.
Coherence
Group one idea per paragraph and use easy signpost words like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'so' to link ideas.
Content
Choose stronger, simple examples that really show why money can not buy life joys, and fix how you link each example to your point.
Grammar
Fix grammar and keep sentences short. Avoid long, mixed phrases like 'to become healthier, to become healthy'.
Conclusion
End with a clear conclusion that restates your view and what you showed in the essay.
Task Response
Your view is clear from the start.
Content
You give ideas about health and study that link to the prompt.
Coherence
Some effort to connect ideas with examples.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • free
  • buy
  • money
  • love
  • family
  • friend
  • time
  • health
  • happiness
  • memory
  • trust
  • care
  • kindness
  • education
  • opportunity
  • security
  • safety
  • life
  • value
  • effort
  • choice
  • joy
  • problem
  • meaning
  • character
  • feelings
  • support
  • risk
  • peace
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