IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries students pay their own university and college fees, however in other countries government pays their fees. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

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It is argued that in many countries if
students
Use synonyms
 want to study at university or college they should pay their fees ,
while
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 in
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 countries
government
Use synonyms
 make it free for
students
Use synonyms
 .
However
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 , In my view, I believe that when the
government
Use synonyms
 pay their tuition has advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
To begin
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 with , there and many benefits of providing free study at universities
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
government
Use synonyms
 . One of the significant
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
 is helping
students
Use synonyms
 to finish in a certain time .
For example
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, if the
government
Use synonyms
 pay for
students
Use synonyms
 they will graduate at a certain time because the majority of those who pay
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
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 money spend more extra years or terms at university which is an obstacle to catching up with their peers.
In addition
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,
this
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 way can help them to build their life and save money for the future.
Moreover
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 , the education system is the most essential part of any country so the upside here is
thatthe
Correct your spelling
that the
government
Use synonyms
 benefits from its citizens in a wide variety of aspects. When all whether university or colleges are free for
students
Use synonyms
, that will encourage most people to study.
As a
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result
Add a comma
result,
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 a huge number will be educated and knowledgeable.
Therefore
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 county will rely on them in different fields like medicine, science and
also
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 media , so they
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 assist and contribute to developing their society.
To sum up
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 , it is still a Controversial topic ,
hence
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 I think the
government
Use synonyms
 should be responsible for
provide
Change the verb form
providing
show examples
free or at least affordable fees .

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task achievement
Provide clearer examples and explanations to support your main points more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion fully encapsulate the essay’s argument without leaving ambiguous statements.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
There is a logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • socioeconomic barriers
  • financial burden
  • personal responsibility
  • educational outcomes
  • equitable society
  • vocational training
  • investment in education
  • degree value
  • budget constraints
  • overcrowded classes
  • graduate skills
  • workforce education
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