IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

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It is argued whether experimenting on
animals
Use synonyms
 is negative and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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should be banned,
although
Linking Words
 some people think it is key to
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 scientific discoveries. Using
animals
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 for experiments has always been a controversial debate and researchers are trying to use alternative methods in Science in order to avoid the use of species from the animal kingdom. Similarities between certain
animals
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 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans have been formulated as the main reasons to use them to find cures for human illnesses. Scientists started experimenting with rats or mice,
for example
Linking Words
, many years ago and they still do.
According to
Linking Words
 many people,
know
Wrong verb form
known
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 as animalists, it attempts against the
animals
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' rights that they have as living things.
However
Linking Words
, they might have forgotten the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of diseases that are no longer a threat to the population around the world
due to
Linking Words
 the tests done on
animals
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. Vaccinations and cancer treatments have been applied to save people because there have been
such
Linking Words
 investigations. In recent years, thanks to the new technology used in laboratories, there has been a reduction
of
Change preposition
in
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 the number of species scientists work with. Creating artificial organs with the same parameters as the human ones
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 allowed them to continue their
researchs
Correct your spelling
research
 without harming any animal. In conclusion, despite the improvement in health done by all the experiments carried out throughout the years, animalists will keep on fighting against animal experimentation.
Animals
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 will continue to be the best way for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientists to find solutions for specific diseases and help the population fight them.

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task achievement
Rephrase and clarify your main idea in the introduction to enhance clarity and precision.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each supporting paragraph has a clear topic sentence, so your main points are easier to follow.
task achievement
Provide a few more specific examples of animal experimentation and alternatives to enrich your argumentation.
task achievement
You effectively discuss the ethical considerations involved and introduce alternative methods to animal experimentation, which shows critical thinking.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes the main points and reflects on the ongoing debate, maintaining a good connection to your introduction.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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