IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is often said that governments spend too much money on projects to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important? Do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years,
Agruing
Correct your spelling
Arguing
 regarding government spending on
wildlife
Use synonyms
 protection compared to other issues are
incresing
Correct your spelling
increasing
.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 some
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 upset as the other
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 like biluding
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
,
schools
Correct word choice
and schools
show examples
 are
ingored
Correct your spelling
ignored
 which are
also
Linking Words
 essential. I
partically
Correct your spelling
partially
particularly
 disagree with
this
Linking Words
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
, In
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 decade human has already
distroy
Correct your spelling
destroy
destroyed
nature
Use synonyms
 and
harm
Wrong verb form
harmed
show examples
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 much for their own benefit so it is important to protect them. On the one hand, Securing
life
Correct article usage
the life
show examples
 of
nature
Use synonyms
 element plays
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
 role in
eveyone
Correct your spelling
everyone
 life.
It
Correct pronoun usage
They
show examples
 not only
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 to make
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 environment by creating
oxegen
Correct your spelling
oxygen
Oxegen
 but
also
Linking Words
,
they
Correct word choice
but they
show examples
 are
useful
Rephrase
also useful
show examples
 for medical
pupose
Correct your spelling
purpose
purposes
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 as the many
medicine
Change to a plural noun
medicines
show examples
 to cure life taking decese are made from
Use synonyms
nature
Replace the word
natural
show examples
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Nature
Use synonyms
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 us
water
Change preposition
with water
show examples
, air, and, food which is
Correct article usage
a neccesity
show examples
neccesity
Correct your spelling
necessity
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 any person to survive. And as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mankind has
create
Change the verb form
created
show examples
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 many industries and
factory
Fix the agreement mistake
factories
show examples
 which create carbon monoxide. It is leading in way of harming environments so to save our self we
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
 need to save
wildlife
Use synonyms
. Adding to it, For many countries
nature
Use synonyms
 has become the
turist
Correct your spelling
tourist
 attraction of that country
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
 to boosting their
econmoy
Correct your spelling
economy
.
For example
Linking Words
, In Srilanka
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
 revenue
Add a missing verb
is genrate
show examples
genrate
Correct your spelling
generated
generate
 from
nature
Use synonyms
attraction
Fix the agreement mistake
attractions
show examples
. So if anything
happened
Wrong verb form
happens
show examples
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
wildlife
Use synonyms
 of that nation it
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
also
Linking Words
 lead to
failure
Correct article usage
the failure
show examples
 of the
ecomony
Correct your spelling
economy
 of that nation.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
ruling
Add an article
the ruling
show examples
 party should focus on the
devlopment
Correct your spelling
development
 of
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
 and
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 of their respective
natin
Correct your spelling
nation
nations
. Governments must address basic needs
such
Linking Words
 as healthcare, education, and poverty, as these directly affect the well-being and survival of individuals. In many parts of the world, the need for better healthcare systems, access to quality education, and poverty alleviation is critical. These social issues can have immediate and long-term impacts on a country’s development and stability, and
thus
Linking Words
, should be at the forefront of government spending. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 it is essential to address immediate social issues,
wildlife
Use synonyms
 protection should not be disregarded. Governments should adopt a holistic approach that allocates resources to both human welfare and environmental conservation. Balancing these priorities is crucial for ensuring a sustainable future where both people and
wildlife
Use synonyms
 can thrive. Ultimately, it is not a matter of choosing one over the other but finding a way to support both in a harmonious manner.

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language
Be mindful of spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'Agruing', 'incresing', 'biluding', and 'pupose'. Try to proofread your essay for such mistakes to improve clarity.
coherence
Use a clear structure for each paragraph. Start with a topic sentence, provide explanations, and conclude with a summary to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Aim to provide more detailed examples or data to back up your main points. For instance, citing specific wildlife conservation projects could strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion and engage with both sides of the argument, which shows your ability to critically analyze the topic.
coherence
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and emphasizes the need for balance between wildlife protection and other social issues.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecological balance
  • safeguard
  • natural habitats
  • foster
  • cultural of conservation
  • long-term ecological sustainability
  • economic benefits
  • significant source of revenue
  • investment
  • nation’s economic wealth
  • preservation of ecosystems
  • clean water and air
  • prioritization
  • multi-faceted government budgets
  • environmental protection
  • wildlife conservation
  • neglecting
  • detrimental effects
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