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Band 7.5

In some countries, students live with their family while studying at a university. In other countries, students attend university in another city. Do you think the advantages of living away from the family home while attending university outweigh the disadvantages?

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In certain countries, university
students
Use synonyms
 live with their families during their studies,
whereas
Linking Words
 in others, they must move to another city to pursue higher education. From my perspective,
although
Linking Words
 living far from home has both benefits and drawbacks, I firmly believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand, independent living during university life offers multiple benefits. One of the most significant advantages is the development of discipline and independence. With various deadlines for assignments, projects, and exams,
students
Use synonyms
 are forced to manage their time effectively and take responsibility for their academic performance.
Additionally
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, living alone helps
students
Use synonyms
 become more self-reliant, as they must make important decisions about their careers, relationships, and personal values without direct parental guidance. Another crucial benefit is the enhancement of essential life skills
such
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 as financial and time management. In some countries, higher education is costly, especially in parts of Asia, where
students
Use synonyms
 must cover not only tuition fees but
also
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 expenses like rent and transportation.
Therefore
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, they must learn to budget wisely.
Furthermore
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, many
students
Use synonyms
 work part-time or take internships alongside their studies, requiring them to prioritize tasks efficiently.
On the other hand
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, living away from home
also
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 presents challenges. The most significant drawback is financial pressure, as
students
Use synonyms
 must cover multiple expenses, including accommodation, food, and daily necessities, which can be costly in urban areas.
Moreover
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, some
students
Use synonyms
 struggle with loneliness and mental health issues
due to
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 being away from their families. Research suggests that young people in university environments often find it difficult to establish new friendships, and a lack of family support can contribute to feelings of isolation and depression. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 living far from home can create financial and emotional difficulties, it
also
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 fosters crucial life skills, independence, and self-discipline. Despite some downsides, I believe that independent living offers long-term benefits that outweigh its challenges.

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task achievement
Ensure that all your main points are supported with specific examples to enhance clarity and relatability.
coherence and cohesion
Try to incorporate more varied linking words to further enhance the flow of ideas throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Well-organized structure with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
Strong arguments presented with awareness of both advantages and disadvantages of living away from home.
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