IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

write a discharge letter,

#discharge
Thanks for seeing Mr Wilson, a 64-year-old male, who was admitted with
decreased
Add an article
a decreased
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 level of consciousness after
suicidal
Correct article usage
a suicidal
show examples
 attempt with
sertraline
 and
alcohol
. Now he is ready to
discharge
Wrong verb form
be discharged
show examples
. I refer him to you for close and urgent
follow up
Join the words
follow-up
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 and ongoing management of his depression and very important consequences. Today Mr Wilson was taken to the acute mental health unit of our hospital with drowsiness and low blood pressure. His wife reported deliberating suicidal
attempt
Fix the agreement mistake
attempts
show examples
 with the medication (
sertraline
) which taking for depression since 2022.
However
, he discontinued it from 2 weeks back. He overdosed
with
Change preposition
on
show examples
sertraline
 and
alcohol
 but phoned her wife after that. He is
heavy
Add an article
a heavy
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 smoker and he consumes
alcohol
 4-6 units every day. He has a gambling addiction as well, leading to
family
Correct article usage
a family
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 breakdown. He lost his job 3 weeks back. With all
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 issues the possibility of
re-
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
suicidal
attempt
Fix the agreement mistake
attempts
show examples
 is there.
Psychosocial
Correct article usage
A psychosocial
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 assessment was done and
sertraline
restarted
Add a missing verb
was restarted
show examples
 again with
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 dose
100
Change preposition
of 100
show examples
 mg per day. Mr Wilson is ready to
discharge
Wrong verb form
be discharged
show examples
 now with her wife,
which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
show examples
 should remain with him for
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 2 days. It would be appreciated if you could visit him within 2 days
for reviewing
Change preposition
to review
show examples
anti-depressant
Correct article usage
the anti-depressant
show examples
 medication and
following attending
Wrong verb form
attend
show examples
 to community mental health team and drug and
alcohol
 service.
Additionally
, he
also
 needs to get support for
gambling
Correct pronoun usage
his gambling
show examples
 addiction. Yours sincerely, Doctor
Submitted by ali.homayoni93 on

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single idea per paragraph
Consider breaking down some of the longer paragraphs into smaller ones to enhance readability and ensure each paragraph presents a single idea clearly.
complete response
Make sure to double-check for minor grammatical errors or typos, as this can improve the overall professionalism of the letter.
complete response
The letter provides a comprehensive response covering all necessary details including the patient's condition, treatment, and follow-up recommendations.
suitable writing tone
The greeting and closing are appropriately professional, and the writing tone is suitable for a medical discharge letter.
logical structure
The logical structure is well-maintained with a clear progression from background information to current condition and follow-up needs.

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