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Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in 4 Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in 4 Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040
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The presented line chart
give
Change the verb form
gives
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 information about
participation
Correct article usage
the participation
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 rates
people
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of people
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 in their 20s in
acadamy
Correct your spelling
academia
 in Singapore,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
,
Use synonyms
Thailand
Correct word choice
and Thailand
show examples
 during 50
the
Correct article usage
apply
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decades over time in four different countries.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the data of the four countries varied significantly during the period shown.it is
also
Linking Words
 noticeable that
Singgapore
Correct your spelling
Singapore
,
Thailand
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,
Malaysia
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 and the
Philippines
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 are expected to
continue
Add the particle
continue to
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 remain immense in the coming years. Looking at the line charts more closely,one can see that from 1961 to 1991 the rapid influx of 18-
25 year olds
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25-year-olds
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 in
Malaysia
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 and the
Philippines
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 at around 8-15% .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 in
Malaysia
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remain
Wrong verb form
remained
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 unchanged
for
Change preposition
by
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 15% over time.
By contrast
Linking Words
,in the
Philippines
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 always
continue
Add the particle
continue to
show examples
 increase
sharp
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sharply
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. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of
Thailand
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, there was a significant went down in the number of
olds
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old
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 residents during the period from 1961 to 1991.At the same time, Singapore fluctuated considerably from 15% to more
35
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than 35
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%.
In addition
Linking Words
 ,inhabitant in their 20s
of
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in
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Thailand
Use synonyms
scend
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scends
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 continually from 1991 to the end.
Utimately
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Ultimately
,in
Singapore
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Singapore,
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thre
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there
 was an increasing trend in the percentage of old people in universities
at the end
Linking Words
 of
period
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the period
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,at about 10%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words malaysia, philippines, thailand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • population density
  • rural-urban migration
  • economic development
  • industrialization
  • infrastructure strain
  • environmental impacts
  • social challenges
  • urban planning
  • government policies
  • housing policies
  • public services
  • trend analysis
  • prediction
  • initiatives
  • urban growth management
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