IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Technology has benefits or not. Discuss both views.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Without any doubt, society is divided into two groups as per the distinct mindset of individuals in the current scenario.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 has become a debatable issue of whether technology brings benefits or not.
This
Linking Words
 essay will not only shed light on both perceptions, but
also
Linking Words
 my point of view will be elaborated in a sensible conclusion. Commencing with the first notion, there are myriad things to be shared in its support. The first benefit of using automation is communication. To exemplify, with the help of modern gadgets
such
Linking Words
 as computers, mobile phones, and tablets community can chat with their relatives and friends all around the world. To cite an example, social media provides an opportunity for video calls to the masses via Instagram, Facebook, and other social sites. Another striking positive aspect is creativity. It is true that the majority of dangerous tasks are completed with the assistance of modern machines in various workplaces in the current scenario.
As a result
Linking Words
, companies have no need to hire more workers for difficult work. Moving towards the second argument of
this
Linking Words
 debate, there are a few drawbacks to using robotics. First of all, over-dependence on these robotics has become a serious threat to the population. To explain, human beings are spending quality time using these gadgets which not only has a detrimental impact on their family relations but
also
Linking Words
 creates various health issues.
For instance
Linking Words
, majority of the children are suffering from obesity problems
due to
Linking Words
 the overuse of mobile phones because they are not going outside to play physical games.
As a result
Linking Words
, they are struggling with depression, anxiety, and stress. In conclusion,
according to
Linking Words
 my perspective, technology has enormous benefits for the modern society.
Although
Linking Words
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 may vary in their opinion.
However
Linking Words
, it is believed that the ideology of success can be reached if inhabitants will embrace both ways of living in the community.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing a clearer stance on the issue in the introduction and reiterate it in your conclusion.
coherence
Ensure each paragraph discusses only one main idea to improve coherence and clarity.
coherence
Use more varied sentence structures to enhance the flow of your writing.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points, especially regarding the drawbacks of technology.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument effectively, showing a balanced approach to the topic.
coherence
Your essay has a logical progression, moving clearly from one point to another.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: