IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that students should be allowed to evaluate and criticize their teachers to improve the quality of education. Others think this is disrespectful to teachers. Discuss both views, give your opinion and include relevant examples.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many
individual
Change to a plural noun
individuals
show examples
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
 that in order to enhance education quality,
Use synonyms
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 or
mentor
Fix the agreement mistake
mentors
show examples
 should be assessed by
students
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 teaching. But, might
me
Correct your spelling
be
show examples
 harmful for the dignity of the teachers. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
points and argue in the favor of former.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
enable
Correct subject-verb agreement
enables
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 to assess and
questioning
Wrong verb form
question
show examples
 their teachers, empower their skills and motivate
towards
Correct pronoun usage
them towards
show examples
 their
intreset
Correct your spelling
interest
 of study. It is evident that, by doing so learning process can be improved.
Also
Linking Words
, it will improve the bonds between
students
Use synonyms
 and instructors in order to achieve
both
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 best learning environment.
For example
Linking Words
, surveys done by
Correct article usage
the U.S
show examples
U.S college
Correct your spelling
U.S. College
 of Arts
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 that
students
Use synonyms
 are more likely to give feedback
at the end
Linking Words
 of class.
This
Linking Words
improve
Change the verb form
improves
show examples
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
show examples
 and teaching style of both parties
accordingly
Linking Words
. Other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, encouraging
students
Use synonyms
 to assess and
critcize
Correct your spelling
criticize
teacher
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 can undermine
taecher
Correct your spelling
teacher
 authority.
This
Linking Words
 will weaken the
surperiority
Correct your spelling
superiority
 of
Use synonyms
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 over
students
Use synonyms
. As class
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
show examples
 more
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
,
students
Use synonyms
 will not catch up
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
 properly. As shown in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 school in Australia,
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 posted the post on
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 misbehaving or criticizing the
teacher
Use synonyms
. After that student
expelled
Add a missing verb
was expelled
show examples
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
from the school as the case
widespread
Add a missing verb
was widespread
show examples
. In conclusion, encouraging
students
Use synonyms
 to
questioning
Change the verb form
question
show examples
 and fiving feedback to
Use synonyms
teacher
Add an article
the teacher
a teacher
show examples
 will increase their
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
 improve
learning
Correct article usage
the learning
show examples
systemm
Correct your spelling
system
systems
. But, one as a student or learner should respect the
Use synonyms
teacher
Change noun form
teacher's
show examples
 dignity and treat them well
while
Linking Words
 making arguing in classrooms.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What works well

2
content

The essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is essential for a balanced discussion.

argument

Some points regarding the benefits of student feedback are valid and relevant to the topic.

Improvement Suggestions

5
introduction

The introduction is somewhat unclear as the main argument is not explicitly stated. Clarifying your opinion earlier can help guide the reader better.

coherence

Make sure to present points more clearly and systematically to improve the overall logical flow. Consider better transitions between points.

conclusion

Ensure the conclusion succinctly reflects the arguments made in the essay and summarizes your position in a more cohesive way.

language

There are several grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Proofreading for clarity and correctness will enhance the essay's quality.

examples

Providing more specific examples or detailed illustrations can strengthen the arguments you present, particularly in supporting your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • evaluate
  • criticize
  • quality of education
  • teaching methods
  • feedback
  • adapt
  • empowers
  • engage
  • authority
  • undermine
  • dynamic
  • constructive feedback
  • objective criteria
  • balance
  • structured evaluation
  • anonymously
  • insights
  • teacher development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: