IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Today more and more people are using mobile phone and computer. Thus, the communication ability is losing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, there is a trend that indicates
people
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 tend to use cell phones and computers regularly, so social
interaction
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 skills are reducing gradually.
This
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 essay completely agrees with that statement as The development of means of communication is relocating the focus of its users.
Consequently
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, folks are wasting more
time
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 on gadgets. Technological development has switched our lives into a digital world.
This
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 movement has proven to be essential in a large number of
people
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's daily activities.
Furthermore
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, some technologies
such
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 as smartphones and laptops are utilized more than ever.
For instance
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, several meetings at the office are being held online regularly.
Therefore
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, a large portion of the community is coordinating frequently on gadgets rather than meeting physically.
As a result
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, there is a tendency for society are interact with gadgets more than several decades back.
Moreover
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, most of the
time
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 wasted
time
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 on online platforms is not efficient.
People
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 tend to focus on some pieces of stuff which are not substantial both for their career and social
interaction
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.
In addition
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, a lack of direct
interaction
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 has affected the community's behaviour in the social realm.
For example
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, several years ago, some strangers were interacting loosely, but today, folks are wasting more
time
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 with their own businesses on phones or tablets.
Hence
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, social
interaction
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 is becoming more unusual for most
people
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.
To sum up
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, the current movement of society towards technological shifting in the communication realm is resulting in more wasted
time
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 on digital devices.
In addition
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, the community members are preferring these methods of communication.

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task achievement
Work on clarifying your main points and ensuring that each paragraph directly supports your argument. Some ideas feel underdeveloped, such as the impact of social media on communication.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the clarity of your conclusion to explicitly restate your position and summarize the main reasons for your viewpoint. This helps reinforce your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use more varied vocabulary and check for grammatical correctness, particularly in sentence structure. Small errors can distract from your message.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position regarding the argument, and you provide a relevant thesis statement that establishes the main points of your essay.
task achievement
You include relevant examples that help illustrate your points, such as the mention of online meetings and the impact of technology on social interaction.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancements
  • Global connections
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Communication skills
  • Digital divide
  • Social networks
  • Virtual communication
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Cognitive empathy
  • Digital literacy
  • Social isolation
  • Cyber communication
  • Non-verbal cues
  • Screen time
  • Digital detox
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