Some people think a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children whoc are taught to cooperate rather than compete become useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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One of the widely
discusses
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discussed
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issues nowadays is that
yound
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young
people
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have abilities
competition
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. It is
undeniable
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undeniably
show examples
an
essentail
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essential
part of
life
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, but there is no absolute agreement on a sense of
competition
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. Others consider that
cooperate
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cooperation
show examples
is better than
competiton
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competition
.
This
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essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in favour of the former. A commonly held belief
that
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is that
show examples
children
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have to motivate to
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competition
Replace the word
compete
show examples
and it
enhance
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enhances
show examples
their skills.
as
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As
show examples
evidence, they point to the
competiton
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competition
enhance
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enhancing
show examples
coinfident
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confident
confidence
and hardy. Because
,
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apply
show examples
compete
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competing
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with
people
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give
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gives
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experience and to
be
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apply
show examples
ready
to
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for
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life
Use synonyms
. Youngsters will not give up ever.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
, it leads to profit
due to
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children
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compete
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competing
show examples
with their
idol
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idols
show examples
and
want
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wanting
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to be like
him
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them
show examples
.
Competition
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is beneficial for a child's
life
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. It could be explained by the fact that many
succesful
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successful
persons
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people
show examples
provide that
competiton
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competition
is the best way to
achievement
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achieve
show examples
. It
occur
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occurs
show examples
a new aims for youth.
As a result
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, it leads to
expand
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expanding
show examples
their opportunities to their target.
On the other
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hand
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hand,
show examples
people
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claim that
cooperate
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cooperation
show examples
is useful for
adult
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adults
show examples
that
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who
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control
over
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apply
show examples
children
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.
For example
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, they may mention that sometimes
children
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face
issuues
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issues
and cannot solve
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. cooperate with individuals assist them with challenging tasks. They share
with
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apply
show examples
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
that
children
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absorb
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. It will be helpful in the future.
In addition
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, it
teach
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teaches
show examples
them to
do
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apply
show examples
not
be
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to be
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shy and ask
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for aids
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aids
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aid
show examples
. Communities with
people
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is
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are
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necessary for
life
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. The
expplanation
Correct your spelling
explanation
lies in the fact that many young
people
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achieve and solve problems themselves, but it is useless. They are still
youth
Add an article
a youth
show examples
and are not capable
to
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of
show examples
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
tough tasks.
Therefore
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,
cooperate
Replace the word
cooperation
show examples
leads to
ehnance
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enhance
enhanced
their skills with aid humans. In conclusion,
cooperate
Replace the word
cooperation
show examples
is more significant than
competition
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.
However
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, I believe that
competition
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boosts their mental health and achieve
to
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apply
show examples
aims
that
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is
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are
show examples
advantageous for
life
Use synonyms

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Task Achievement
Your introduction gives an outline of the essay but can be clearer by rephrasing your thesis statement more effectively. Ensure you clearly state your opinion in a straightforward manner.
Coherence and Cohesion
In your main body paragraphs, some sentences lack clarity and contain grammatical errors, which makes it difficult to follow your argument. Focus on constructing clearer sentences.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be aware of spelling and grammar errors, such as 'competiton,' 'cooperate,' and 'succesful.' Proofreading your work can help catch these mistakes and improve clarity.
Task Achievement
Make sure to provide relevant examples to support your points. For instance, when discussing benefits of cooperation, providing a specific example can strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
You introduce both views on competition and cooperation in the essay, which shows you've understood the task's requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've made an effort to structure your essay into clear paragraphs, which is a good practice in academic writing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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