IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, owning a house rather than renting one is important for people. What might be the case? Do you think this is a negative or positive situation?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In many countries, the population think it is an important task to own an apartment rather than rent. The main reason for adopting
this
Linking Words
 kind of phenomenon is that it is a good way of long-term investment and another cause is the insecurity of losing a rental property. I believe that
this
Linking Words
 is a positive development and will explain my decision in upcoming articles. To start with, the factor of long-term investment.There is a huge difference seen in the real estate market. The prices of properties are increasing day by day. Investing in real estate is a very good idea as the community can get an apartment for living
as well as
Linking Words
 they can sell it at higher rates in future.
For example
Linking Words
, a news report from Canada shows that housing prices increased drastically over the past few years. Those who invested in the time period got a lot of profit. Another considering factor is the insecurity of losing rental houses.
Due to
Linking Words
 globalization, individuals suffering from housing crises, always have a fear of losing their homes. Home is a place where folk not only live but
also
Linking Words
 build some memories and feelings. So that's why it is better to have your own residence rather than rent. Because they do not need to worry about leaving their house anymore which helps them to balance their mental health.
For instance
Linking Words
, a news reporter from Toronto in 2022 found that 75% of people suffer from depression and anxiety
due to
Linking Words
 housing problems.
To conclude
Linking Words
 , I personally recommend that owning a house is far better than leasing a place to live as it is beneficial for the long run and profit margins and helps to tackle the feeling of homelessness which will be helpful for maintaining the mental and physical well-being of a person.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples and details to strengthen your main points. This will enhance the clarity and richness of your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly connects to the main argument, possibly by using more transition phrases to guide the reader through your points.
coherence and cohesion
Rephrase sentences for clarity and avoid small grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreements and punctuation issues, to improve overall readability.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion about home ownership being a positive development, which is relevant to the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the topic and outlines your main arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: