IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Saving some cash for the future is considered crucial, especially for adults. I am totally in favour of
this
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, as the saved amount may help individuals in times of need,
such
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 as medical emergencies and big occasions like marrying or buying a house. Living a healthy life is not always in one's hands. There are some instances in which people have no control, like any particular disease which may occur at any time. Needless to say, it is that accommodated bank balance that acts as a ray of hope during difficult times. Had it not been there
then
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 there would have been several cases of death because of illness. A clear example was seen during the peak of covid 19 in India where all the government hospitals were occupied and a private room was not affordable for natives who survived just hand to mouth resulting in massive deaths.
Secondly
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, inflation is ruling on whole world. It is not possible to celebrate big days without a handsome salary
as well as
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 with a high bank balance. Suffice it to say buying a house needs a substantial down payment which amounts to nearly a hundred thousand dollars. To survive, a person needs to fulfil the three essentials which are food, clothes
as well as
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 a home.
Additionally
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, for marriage, huge collaborative funds are required. Organizing at least 3 functions needs an approximate value of 15 lakhs rupees. Unless and until, the individual collects
this
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 amount, he can't organize a big function. The growing number of farmers committing suicide as they are unable to pay off the loan that they took for their daughter's marriage is a big lesson for saving money.
To conclude
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, collecting some coins for time in need plays a vital role.
This
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 practice ensures financial readiness for significant life events like buying a home
as well as
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 in
cas
Correct your spelling
case

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main idea.
task achievement
Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the key points and reiterating the importance of saving money.
task achievement
Consider refining your examples to enhance clarity and impact, ensuring they directly support the arguments made.
task achievement
The essay presents relevant examples that support the argument of saving money for future needs.
task achievement
There is a clear sense of opinion expressed strongly throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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