IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some children think that team Sports prepare children for work life but others think individual sports are better. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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In today's world, social
media
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 has become an essential tool for staying connected with others and staying updated on the latest news.
While
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 there are clear benefits to using social
media
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, there are
also
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 some drawbacks to consider.
This
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 essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of social
media
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 to determine whether the positives outweigh the negatives. One of the main advantages of social
media
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 is that it helps people stay in touch, even when they are far away. Platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp allow individuals to communicate with family, friends, and colleagues across the globe in
real time
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real-time
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.
For example
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, someone living in a different country can easily share photos, videos, and messages, making it easier to maintain relationships.
Additionally
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, social
media
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 is a great way to stay informed about current events. People can follow news outlets and influencers to get updates on politics, sports, and entertainment.
However
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, there are some disadvantages to social
media
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. One major issue is the spread of misinformation. News on social
media
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 is often shared without proper verification, leading to confusion and misunderstandings.
Moreover
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, excessive use of social
media
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 can lead to mental health issues,
such
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 as anxiety and depression. People may feel isolated or inadequate when comparing their lives to others' carefully curated posts.
For example
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, during the COVID-19 pandemic, there were numerous false claims shared on social
media
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 regarding the virus, treatments, and vaccines. In conclusion, social
media
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 has both positive and negative aspects.
While
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 it allows us to stay connected and informed, it
also
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 brings challenges like misinformation and mental health concerns.
Overall
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, if used responsibly, the advantages of social
media
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 can outweigh the disadvantages.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples for each point mentioned, as this would enhance the argumentation, particularly in discussing the advantages and disadvantages of social media.
coherence and cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects strongly to your thesis, as this will further strengthen the logical flow of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both sides, and a conclusion, which helps in maintaining coherence.
task achievement
The points made about social media's advantages and disadvantages are relevant and articulated well, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Teamwork: collaborating with others to achieve a common goal.
  • Communication skills: the ability to effectively exchange information and express ideas.
  • Leadership: the action of leading a group or organization.
  • Collaboration: working jointly with others, especially in an intellectual endeavor.
  • Independence: the state of being self-reliant.
  • Self-discipline: the ability to control one's feelings and overcome one's weaknesses.
  • Accountability: the fact or condition of being responsible, explaining one's actions.
  • Adaptability: the quality of being able to adjust to new conditions.
  • Initiative: the ability to assess and initiate things independently.
  • Critical thinking: the objective analysis and evaluation of an issue in order to form a judgment.
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