IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

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Millions of dollars are invested in
space
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research
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 every year, sparking debate over whether
this
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 funding should be redirected to improving living conditions on
Earth
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.
While
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 some argue that
space
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exploration
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 is unnecessary, I believe it plays a crucial role in securing the
future
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 of humanity, even though pressing global issues
also
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 require immediate attention. On one hand,
space
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research
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 is essential for long-term survival, as it enables the discovery of new habitable planets.
Earth
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 is facing increasing challenges, including climate change, overpopulation, and resource depletion, making
space
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exploration
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 a potential solution for the
future
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.
For instance
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, NASA has identified exoplanets that resemble
Earth
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, and astronauts have discovered water on Mars, which could indicate the possibility of sustaining life.
However
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, these advancements require continuous financial support, as
space
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research
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 is highly expensive and technologically demanding.
On the other hand
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, many argue that governments should prioritize solving urgent problems on
Earth
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 rather than investing in extraterrestrial
exploration
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. Poverty, malnutrition, and environmental crises,
such
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 as pollution and deforestation, continue to threaten millions of lives.
For example
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, many developing countries struggle with inadequate access to clean water and healthcare, issues that could be addressed with increased funding. Allocating more resources to social and environmental initiatives could significantly improve the quality of life for people worldwide. In conclusion,
while
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space
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exploration
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 is vital for the long-term
future
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 of humanity, governments must strike a balance between investing in scientific advancements and addressing immediate global challenges. A well-planned budget should ensure that urgent social issues are tackled
while
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 still supporting
space
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research
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 for the benefit of
future
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 generations.

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task achievement
Consider providing a clearer definition or explanation about what constitutes 'improving living conditions' in your introduction. This will set a more solid groundwork for your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the transition between paragraphs, especially at the start of the second paragraph. A linking sentence can guide the reader more smoothly into your points.
task achievement
In your conclusion, you could briefly reiterate the benefits of space exploration in more concrete terms, which would strengthen your final point.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced argument, addressing both sides of the debate effectively, which adds depth to your discussion.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, such as NASA's discoveries, adds credibility to your argument and engages the reader's interest.
coherence and cohesion
The logical flow of ideas throughout the essay is commendable, making it easy to follow your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • scientific discoveries
  • cutting-edge technology
  • pioneering research
  • socio-economic development
  • improved healthcare
  • education
  • poverty alleviation
  • infrastructure
  • balanced approach
  • cost-effective
  • prioritize
  • allocate
  • resources
  • budget
  • investment
  • sustainable development
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