IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Question: " Discuss the role of lifestyle choices in maintaining overall health. Consider factors such as diet, exercise, and stress management. How can individuals make informed choices to promote their well-being?” You should give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge to support your response.

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There is a famous proverb "an apple in a day, keeps a doctor away". Truly, over
all
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 well-being of a person depends on their own
lifestyle
Use synonyms
. How we opt
our
Change preposition
for our
show examples
 routines and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
choices in order to achieve healthy habits for a good quality of
life
Use synonyms
 is a crucial decision to make for a balanced
lifestyle
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, plenty of options are there to adapt
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a healthy routine
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Correct article usage
a mindfull
show examples
mindfull
Correct your spelling
mindful
diet
Use synonyms
,
adaptation
Add an article
an adaptation
the adaptation
show examples
 of exercise, and
stress
Use synonyms
 management would be a game changer for an individual. All these choices can be informed through
awareness
Correct article usage
an awareness
show examples
 guiding campaign or a
health
Use synonyms
 provider may give useful insights
of
Change preposition
into
show examples
 having
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better
health
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the person.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, Having a set routine which includes a healthy
diet
Use synonyms
, exercises and meditation will be helpful to achieve healthy habits which are essential for well-being in the
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
. A mindful
diet
Use synonyms
 wich includes balanced food
such
Linking Words
 as
macronutrient
Fix the agreement mistake
macronutrients
show examples
,
micronutrient
Fix the agreement mistake
micronutrients
show examples
, vitamins,superfoods
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good physical
health
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, exercises
such
Linking Words
 as gym,
sports
Correct word choice
and sports
show examples
 can be useful to achieve physical strength and flexibility. It
also
Linking Words
 helps to prevent advanced diseases like arthritis. In
adddition
Correct your spelling
addition
 to that,
habit
Add an article
the habit
a habit
show examples
 of doing meditation or any form of mental
Use synonyms
stress released
Add a hyphen
stress-released
show examples
 exercise will
helpful
Replace the word
help
show examples
 in
stress
Use synonyms
 management which is fairly common in
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
life
Use synonyms
. So, choosing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mindfull
Correct your spelling
mindful
 habits to get
ultimate
Correct article usage
an ultimate
show examples
 healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 will make
considerable
Add an article
a considerable
show examples
 impact on
over all
Correct your spelling
overall
show examples
 well-being.
For instance
Linking Words
, Research shows that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 gives you a longer lifespan.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
adaptation
Add an article
an adaptation
the adaptation
show examples
 of
active
Correct article usage
an active
show examples
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 and mindful
diet
Use synonyms
 is beneficial to improve
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 and quantity of
life
Use synonyms
. People often try to consider and
adapt
Correct your spelling
adopt
show examples
 healthy
Use synonyms
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
however
Linking Words
, they fail to go beyond their goals because of misguided
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
 and theories revolving around them for choosing
perticular
Correct your spelling
particular
diet
Use synonyms
 choices or
exrecise
Correct your spelling
exercise
form
Fix the agreement mistake
forms
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 case, the government should arrange campaigns or run
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
on how
conscious
Correct article usage
the conscious
show examples
 decision of having
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 active
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 can
be achieve
Change the verb form
be achieved
show examples
 and give
advantage
Add an article
the advantage
an advantage
show examples
 of having
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
life
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, a
health
Use synonyms
 provider might suggest
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a healthy routine to maximise living years.
To conclude
Linking Words
, a healthy
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 would change the
overall
Linking Words
 well-being for sure.
Hence
Linking Words
, people should be aware of mindful dietary intake
,
Correct word choice
and, importance
show examples
importance
Correct article usage
the importance
show examples
 of
exrecise
Correct your spelling
exercise
 and relaxing
stress
Use synonyms
 management techniques through personal experience or a
health
Use synonyms
 worker can help to
adapt
Correct your spelling
adopt
show examples
active
Correct article usage
an active
show examples
 routine to gain
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good
health
Use synonyms
.

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language
Improve your lexical resource by avoiding minor spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'mindfull' should be 'mindful', 'exrecise' should be 'exercise').
sentence structure
Consider varying your sentence structures and using more complex sentences to enhance clarity and engagement throughout the essay.
supporting details
Ensure to elaborate further on how the government and health providers can effectively influence lifestyle choices, perhaps providing specific examples or campaigns.
task achievement
You presented a clear argument about the importance of lifestyle choices in promoting overall health.
coherence
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion on lifestyle choices and their impact on health.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overall health
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Balanced diet
  • Nutrition
  • Exercise
  • Mental health
  • Physical health
  • Stress management
  • Aerobic
  • Strength training
  • Flexibility exercises
  • Well-being
  • Preventative care
  • Chronic diseases
  • Healthcare professionals
  • Mindfulness
  • Resilience
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Time management
  • Informed choices
  • Health promotion
  • Disease prevention
  • Lifestyle diseases
  • Health consciousness
  • Healthy habits
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