IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people prefer to live in their own house, while others are prepared to live in rental properties. Discuss both views, give your own opinion and examples.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many
people
Use synonyms
 choose to live in their own accommodations,
while
Linking Words
 others prefer to
rent
Use synonyms
properties
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why I prefer to have my own
properties
Use synonyms
. On the one hand,
people
Use synonyms
 prioritize owning
properties
Use synonyms
 because it gives a sense of
owners
Replace the word
ownership
show examples
 and reduces concerns about landlords. Purchasing houses is probably a huge investment but it is worth
since
Correct pronoun usage
it since
show examples
 once
people
Use synonyms
 become owners, they can do whatever they want
such
Linking Words
 as decorating or building things on top.
For example
Linking Words
, I decided to buy my own condo because I
want
Wrong verb form
wanted
show examples
 to furnish my room in the way I had dreamed
since
Change preposition
of since
show examples
 I was young.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 enhances my living experience and makes me happier.
Conversely
Linking Words
, if I rented a room, I would not be able to choose furniture and styles I like.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many argue that it is better to
rent
Use synonyms
properties
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 flexibility. Individuals, who are not sure
with
Change preposition
about
show examples
 their futures, do not definitely want to stay in some areas for
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 whole
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, influencing them to
rent
Use synonyms
properties
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 allows them to relocate to other towns or even countries if they change their jobs.
However
Linking Words
, they still have to follow the contract they commit with their places' owners;
otherwise
Linking Words
, they will have to pay for compensation.
In addition
Linking Words
, if they want some private spaces, they
finally
Linking Words
 have to buy their own accommodations.
For instance
Linking Words
, I know
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 man who
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 lived in several rental
properties
Use synonyms
 for his whole life because he prefer flexibility and want to move around every
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
couple of years
due to
Linking Words
 his boredom.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, he
finally
Linking Words
 decided to buy his own house as he wants to live with his dogs and many places do not allow him to do so. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 many
people
Use synonyms
 choose to
rent
Use synonyms
 spaces because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 flexibility, others decide to invest in their own
properties
Use synonyms
. I personally prefer to have my own accommodation because it allows me to follow my dream of decorating
room
Correct article usage
a room
show examples
 and
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 it my own space.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that your arguments are clearly defined and fully developed, particularly in support of your views. Consider adding deeper reasoning or more specific examples to help illustrate how owning a property can enhance one's lifestyle and stability.
coherence and cohesion
Work on ensuring all parts of your essay are connected logically. Transition sentences can improve the flow between points, making it clearer how ideas relate to one another.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use a variety of sentence structures to enhance the readability of your essay. Arguing both sides is great, but try to use more complex sentences to express your ideas in detail.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic directly and covers both views effectively, providing a personal opinion as well.
coherence and cohesion
Your personal experience adds a unique touch to your argument, making it relatable and engaging for the reader.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: