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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given chart depicts the amount of
children
Use synonyms
’s
trip
Fix the agreement mistake
trips
show examples
 from and to
school
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 using different
modes
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 of transport in a country. The provided data is in 1990 and 2010 of
children
Use synonyms
 aged 5-12. At first glance,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 most
children
Use synonyms
 were walking to and from
school
Use synonyms
 in 1990
while
Linking Words
 in 2010 most were car passengers. The number of other
modes
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 of transportation which are cycling,
bus
Use synonyms
, and walking and
bus
Use synonyms
 decreased from 1990 to 2010. It is interesting to note that the only mode of transportation that increased sharply was
car
Add an article
a car
the car
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, which started
by
Change preposition
at
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 just above 4
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millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and ended
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 around 11
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the number of
children
Use synonyms
 walking to and from
school
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 dropped drastically from above 12
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millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 to 6
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
. A more detailed look at the chart reveals that the trend
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 other
modes
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 of
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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 which are cycling,
bus
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, and walking and
bus
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 were downward. The
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of
children
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 who cycled to and from
school
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 started
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 more than 6
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millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and ended
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 around 2
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
. As shown in the chart, the remaining
modes
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 of transport which are
bus
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 and walking and
bus
Use synonyms
 were dropped by 2
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 and 3
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 respectively.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, modes, children, bus, millions with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trips
  • children
  • modes of transport
  • walk
  • cycle
  • public transport
  • drive
  • car
  • trends
  • decrease
  • increase
  • shift
  • convenient
  • comfortable
  • commuting
  • traffic congestion
  • safety concerns
  • significant
  • indicate
  • reasons
  • traffic congestion
  • safety concerns
  • 20-year period
  • doubled
  • considerable margin
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