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Band 4

Many feel that students today should learn Pratical skills at school such as car maintenance and managing a bank account. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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Nowadays, most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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kids need to have
a knowledge
Remove the article
knowledge
a piece of knowledge
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to
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
maintenance
Replace the word
maintaining
show examples
 and
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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 care
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 finances.
This
Linking Words
 essay will show you
that
Correct word choice
apply
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how important and needed
for
Change preposition
apply
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both of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 skills
in
Add a missing verb
are in
show examples
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
life
Use synonyms
. These days,
students
Use synonyms
 need to the skill how they
Use synonyms
maintenance
Replace the word
maintain
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 because it is
such
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 a crucial part
in
Change preposition
of
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 their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, when I
am
Wrong verb form
was
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kid
Add an article
a kid
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 my father
had upskill
Wrong verb form
upskilled
show examples
 me
how
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on how
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 to
takecare
Correct your spelling
take care
 the
car
Use synonyms
thats
Correct your spelling
which
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 my
life
Use synonyms
 much
easy
Correct word choice
easier
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, managing a bank account is one of the most important technical
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
 you
needed
Wrong verb form
need
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 in
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
 lifetime.
For example
Linking Words
, I
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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learned how to take care
my
Change preposition
of my
show examples
 finances
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 I
am
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 in my
30's
Verb problem
30
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 absolutely
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 my
life
Use synonyms
 better because before that I always
runout
Correct your spelling
ran out of
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 money, late for the rent and late for the bill.
In
Change preposition
On
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a
Correct article usage
the
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 other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
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, the mechanic will lose their job because the
students
Use synonyms
knows
Change the verb form
know
show examples
 the skill to
Use synonyms
maintenance
Replace the word
maintain
show examples
 the cars.
For example
Linking Words
, I will do
own
Correct pronoun usage
my own
show examples
car
Use synonyms
maintenance
Use synonyms
 at
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
home
such
Linking Words
 as, changing the engine oil,
repalce
Correct your spelling
replace
 the air filter
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc.
Moreover
Linking Words
, If the
students
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 have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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excellent
finances
Replace the word
financial
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 that will not
great
Add a missing verb
be great
show examples
 for the economy because they will spend less money
to
Change preposition
apply
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buying things. For
intance
Correct your spelling
instance
, when I had the knowledge of managing my money I
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 60
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 less
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 before on buying
shirt
Fix the agreement mistake
shirts
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 and eating out. In conclusion, many
feels
Change the verb form
feel
show examples
 that
students
Use synonyms
 today need to study the skills of
car
Use synonyms
maintenance
Use synonyms
 and finance
managing
Replace the word
management
show examples
.
As
Change preposition
In
show examples
 my opinion, I absolutely agree that kids these days need both of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 skills because that can make their
life
Use synonyms
 and future much
easy
Correct word choice
easier
show examples
.

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grammar
Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity. Consider using simpler constructions to convey your ideas more effectively.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument. It may help to have a clear topic sentence for each paragraph to guide the reader.
task achievement
Provide clearer examples that relate more directly to the argument you're making. Some examples are relevant, but they could be made more compelling.
task achievement
You demonstrate a clear point of view and express your agreement with the necessity of practical skills for students.
task achievement
You've included personal examples that make the argument relatable and grounded in real-life experience.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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