Some young people like to copy the behavior and clothes of famous people today. What might this be the case? What problem can it cause

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Since the 21st century began, copying the lifestyle of renowned personalities has become a
trend
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among youngsters.
This
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essay will discuss not only the reasons behind
this
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trend
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but
also
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the problems associated with it. The underlying reasons for
this
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trend
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are twofold. Primarily, the extensive use of social
media
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platforms plays a significant role.
In other words
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, nowadays, famous people showcase their lifestyle, fashion, and habits on digital applications like Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok.
As a result
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, teenagers believe that by following the lifestyle of these
celebrities
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, they can
also
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gain stardom. Studies have shown that 70% of young people imitate the fashion trends of prominent personalities to gain popularity on social
media
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.
Thus
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, social
media
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is a major driving force behind
this
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trend
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. Are there any issues associated with
this
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? Certainly, there are.
Firstly
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, it creates a financial burden on parents. To elaborate, in the process of copying
celebrities
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, teenagers tend to demand expensive items from their guardians, which places additional financial pressure on them. If parents fail to
fulfill
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fulfil
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their children’s desires, it can lead to feelings of disappointment and frustration.
Furthermore
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, some teenagers resort to illegal activities to achieve their dreams of becoming famous like their idols. Various studies conducted in the UK have concluded that the crime rate has increased by more than 50% since 2015
due to
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the growing desire to imitate
celebrities
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.
Thus
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,
this
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trend
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not only causes financial stress but
also
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contributes to rising crime rates. In conclusion,
although
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social
media
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is a major factor influencing young people to copy
celebrities
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, it leads to financial strain on families and can encourage criminal
behavior
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behaviour
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among youth. It is essential to promote self-awareness and critical thinking among young individuals to help them develop their own identities
instead
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of blindly following famous personalities.

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task achievement
Your essay effectively discusses the reasons behind the trend of copying celebrities and outlines the associated problems. However, you can enhance your argument by providing more diverse examples or viewpoints.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of linking words and phrases has created a logical flow throughout your essay, but consider varying your sentence structures to improve engagement.
task achievement
The essay presents clear and relevant points, supported by statistics and research findings, which strengthens your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
A strong overall structure is evident with a clear introduction and conclusion, contributing to the clarity of your essay's message.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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