IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it doesn’t solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other type of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Recently, the developed
countries
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 always give
money
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 to the developing
countries
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 in order to help their
people
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 to have better lives.
This
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 is a
benovalent
Correct your spelling
benevolent
 intention but the outcomes are not
satisfield
Correct your spelling
satisfied
 because the poor
countries
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 are still in poverty.
In my
Change preposition
My
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 view, I agree that the idea that
give
Wrong verb form
giving
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 other types of
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aids
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aid
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 rather than just directly
give
Wrong verb form
giving
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money
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 is a possible solution.
The financial
Correct article usage
Financial
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 support means the receivers get the
money
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 without any
endeavors
Change the spelling
endeavours
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. Literately, those
people
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 will have better lives, but it makes some side
affacts
Correct your spelling
effects
affects
such
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 as some misunderstanding of how to get
money
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, which leads to the concise
of
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that
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 laziness would not
makes
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make
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the
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apply
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things worse. In
this
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 case, the living ability of these
countries
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' citizens would not become better, or those
people
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 would even rely on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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money
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aids
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,
no
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and no
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 productive entities would come out
then
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finally
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cause
Wrong verb form
causing
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 the
finance
Replace the word
financial
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 condition
get
Fix the infinitive
to get
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 more inactive. The other types of
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aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
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 that developed
countries
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 can give to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developing
countries
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 should mostly focus on the
ability enhancing
Add a hyphen
ability-enhancing
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 field. The
countries
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 which are in bad financial conditions are always lacking
of
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in
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 educational
circumstance
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circumstances
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,
according to
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 the
reasearch
Correct your spelling
research
 from the universities. The
develped
Correct your spelling
developed
countries
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 give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advanced educational strategies to those
countries
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 makes the intelligence of the
people
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 in these
countries
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get inspired
Verb problem
apply
show examples
, so the
people
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 can produce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wealth by themselves. Gradually , the economic conditions will get much better. All in all, the financial
aids
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 that come from the rich
countries
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 is not sufficient to let the developing
countries
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 get rid of poverty.
The education
Correct article usage
Education
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 is the most important way to let
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poverty disappear totally and in a sustainable way.

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language
Ensure to use correct spelling for words such as 'benevolent' and 'satisfied'. Also, instead of 'give other types of aids', consider phrasing it as 'provide other forms of assistance'.
content
Provide more concrete examples of how educational strategies or other non-financial aid can positively impact developing countries. This will enhance your argument.
structure
Make sure paragraphs are clearly defined, each with a topic sentence that summarizes its main idea. This will improve the overall structure and clarity of your essay.
content
Your essay effectively presents your views on the limitations of financial aid.
structure
You have structured your essay into clear paragraphs, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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