IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Technology has benefits or not . Discuss both views.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Without any doubt, society is divided into two groups as per
distinct
Correct article usage
the distinct
show examples
 mindset of individuals in the current scenario.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 has become a debatable issue of whether
technolgoy
Correct your spelling
technology
 brings benefits or not.
This
Linking Words
 essay will not only shed light on both perceptions, but
also
Linking Words
 my point of view will be elaborated in a sensible conclusion. Commencing with the first notion, there are myriad things to be shared in its support. The first benefit of using automation is communication. To exemplify, with the help of modern gadgets
such
Linking Words
 as computers, mobile phones, and tablets
people
Use synonyms
 can chat with their relatives and
friedns
Correct your spelling
friends
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all around the world. To cite an example, social media provides an opportunity
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 video calls to the masses via Instagram, Facebook, and other social sites. Another striking positive aspect is creativity. It is true that the majority of dangerous
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 are
completing
Wrong verb form
completed
show examples
 with the assistance of modern machines in various workplaces in the current scenario.
As a result
Linking Words
, companies have no need to hire more workers for difficult work. Moving towards the second argument of
this
Linking Words
 debate, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 a few drawbacks to
use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
 robotics. First of all,
over-dependance
Correct your spelling
over-dependence
 on these robotics
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 become a serious threat
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the population. To explain,
people
Use synonyms
 are spending quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time
to use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
 these gadgets which
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not only
put
Verb problem
has
show examples
 a detrimental impact on their family relations but
also
Linking Words
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
 various health issues.
For instance
Linking Words
, majority of the children are suffering
obesity
Change preposition
from obesity
show examples
 problems
due to
Linking Words
 the
over use
Correct your spelling
overuse
show examples
 of mobile phones because they are not going outside to play physical games.
As a result
Linking Words
, they are struggling with depression, anxiety, and stress. In conclusion,
according to
Linking Words
 my perspective, technology has enormous benefits for the modern society.
Although
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 may vary in their opinion.
However
Linking Words
, it is believed that the ideology of success can be reached if
people
Use synonyms
 will embrace both ways of living in
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure that each main point is well-supported with specific examples and explanations to enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use more varied linking phrases to enhance the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs, which will improve coherence and cohesion.
General
Check for spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'technolgoy', 'friedns', 'over-dependance'), as these can distract the reader and affect the overall impression of your work.
Positive
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and indicates that both views will be discussed, which is a strong start.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: