๐Œ๐จ๐ซ๐ž ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ซ๐ž ๐ฉ๐ž๐จ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐ž ๐ง๐จ๐ฐ๐š๐๐š๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐ฏ๐ข๐ฌ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฐ๐ž๐ฅ๐ˆ-๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐š๐œ๐ž๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐š๐ค๐ž ๐ฉ๐ก๐จ๐ญ๐จ๐ ๐ซ๐š๐ฉ๐ก๐ฌ ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฆ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฏ๐ž๐ฌ, ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฅ๐จ๐จ๐ค๐ข๐ง๐  ๐š๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐š๐œ๐ž. ๐–๐ก๐ฒ ๐๐จ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ค ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ก๐š๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ž๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ ? ๐ˆ๐ฌ ๐ข๐ญ ๐š ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ข๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐จ๐ซ ๐š ๐ง๐ž๐ ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐ญ๐ซ๐ž๐ง๐?

โœจ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Touring renowned locations mainly to shoot photos rather than truly experiencing the place is an increasingly common
trend
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
essay discusses why
this
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behaviour is becoming prevalent and outlines why it has negative implications. Two primary drivers catalyse
this
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trend
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. The first is the quest for the ideal photo, driven by social mediaโ€™s influence. In an era dominated by digital status, more individuals aim to capture and share images that depict an idealised life, motivated by societal pressures and the lure of social media validation.
Additionally
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, the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) compels people to rush to visit trending spots, before they become over-visited.
For instance
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, several islands in the Philippines have been closed to tourists
due to
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damage to the ecosystem,
such
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as Boracay, and
this
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has caused tourists to rush to other popular islands. These motivations,
however
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, lead to significant negative consequences. The focus on photography over experience leads to shallow interactions with these locations, undermining the genuine cultural and educational enrichment travel typically provides.
Moreover
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, driven by FOMO, the surge to these sites causes sudden overcrowding, is deteriorating local infrastructure and accelerating environmental degradation
due to
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the increased footprint of tourists.
Such
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impacts degrade the local communities and natural settings. In conclusion, the
trend
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of visiting famous sites primarily for photography is driven by the desire for perfect shots and influenced by FOMO. It has negative outcomes as it promotes surface-level engagement with important locales and creates environmental and infrastructural strains.
This
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trend
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potentially causes lasting damage to both the destinations and the depth of travellersโ€™ experiences.

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Task Achievement
Consider expanding on your examples to provide more depth and data-backed information which could enhance the strength of your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your essay is well-structured, try to use more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear argument with well-defined reasons and consequences associated with the trend.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that ties back to the main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for โ€˜Task Responseโ€™ but also for โ€˜Coherenceโ€™.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • bilingual
  • multilingual
  • fluency
  • communicate
  • cognitive skills
  • cultural awareness
  • opportunities
  • globalized world
  • job market
  • interact
  • linguistic abilities
  • cultural exchange
  • language proficiency
  • language barrier
  • foreign travel
  • personal growth
  • academic achievement
  • self-confidence
  • enhance
  • cross-cultural communication
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