IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph belew shows the numper of shops that closed and the number of new shops that people in one country btween 2011 and 2018

The graph belew shows the numper of shops that closed and the number of new shops that people in one country btween 2011 and 2018
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph illustrates how many shops
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 closed and opened in one country from 2011 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
. The chart indicates that the
number
Use synonyms
 of
shop
Use synonyms
 closures witnessed significant downward trends over the seven-year period of time but there
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 an exception in 2015 and the
number
Use synonyms
 of
shop
Use synonyms
 openings experienced a substantial fall at the same time. Another interesting point is that the
number
Use synonyms
 of
shop
Use synonyms
 openings was popular at first. Looking at the details, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
shop
Use synonyms
 closures started at around 6,000 in 2011. There was a gradual fluctuation, fluctuating from units under 6,000 in 2012 to units around 6,000 in 2014. The trend experienced a
sharply
Change the adverb
sharp
show examples
 plummet by more than 5,000 units in 2015 and
then
Linking Words
 it saw a sharp surge to approximately 5,000 in 2016.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the line levelled off
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 about 5,000 in 2018. In 2011, about 8,500 shops opened. By 2012, the trend had dropped dramatically to 4,000.
However
Linking Words
, by 2014, the
number
Use synonyms
 had
rose
Change the verb form
risen
show examples
 to 6,100. In 2015, there was a considerable go down to 4,000, and
then
Linking Words
 the figure remained stable
around
Change preposition
at around
show examples
 4,000 by 2017.
Although
Linking Words
 the
shop
Use synonyms
 openings experienced a dramatic decrease in 2018.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words number, shop with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: