Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to a work place every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages

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In recent times,
due to
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advancements in technology, many
employees
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prefer to
work
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from
home
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instead
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of commuting to the office every day. Personally, I believe that the advantages of working from
home
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outweigh the disadvantages because
employees
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can save money on travel and enjoy more time with their families. On the one hand, one of the main advantages of working from
home
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is saving money on travel. If
employees
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commute to the office daily, they may lose a significant portion of their salary on transportation expenses.
Therefore
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, working from
home
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is beneficial for both
employees
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and the environment.
Secondly
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,
employees
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tend to
work
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more effectively compared to working in an office setting. They can be more energetic and productive since they have ample time to manage their tasks efficiently.
For example
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,
according to
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a report, around 30% of
employees
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worldwide
work
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from
home
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as it allows them to be more effective and organized.
As a result
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, many organizations offer their staff the opportunity to
work
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remotely.
Moreover
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,
employees
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can
also
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attend online meetings or collaborate on group projects from
home
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, which is one of the greatest benefits for all workers.
However
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, there are some drawbacks that cannot be ignored. The first issue is that some
employees
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struggle with working from
home
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because they do not have a proper workspace or may get distracted by family members, negatively affecting their productivity.
As a result
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, they may find it difficult to concentrate on their tasks, putting their jobs at risk.
Additionally
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, some
employees
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prefer traditional methods of working with pen and paper rather than using digital gadgets, making remote
work
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challenging for them. In conclusion,
although
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there are some negative aspects that may affect a department’s productivity and
work
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, the benefits of working from
home
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,
such
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as cost savings, improved
work
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-life balance, and increased efficiency, outweigh the disadvantages for both individuals and companies.

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs that address the advantages and disadvantages of working from home. Ensure that your transitions between ideas are smooth, as this can enhance the flow and clarity of your arguments.
task achievement
While your ideas are generally clear and well-articulated, consider expanding on your points a little more. For example, you could provide additional specific examples or data to support your claims about productivity and cost savings.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively presents your thesis, and your conclusion summarizes the main points well, reinforcing your stance on the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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