IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that for robots are very important to you human future development. other think that they are dangerous and have negative effect on society discuss both view and give your opinion.

It is undeniable that
,
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apply
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technological
Correct article usage
the technological
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 world is leading towards a trajectory where
machines
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such
Linking Words
 as
robots
Use synonyms
 will take over the whole infrastructure in future.
However
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, there are predominantly two contrasting views on
robots
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. A section of
society
Use synonyms
vehemtly
Correct your spelling
vehemently
 deems that
automaton
Fix the agreement mistake
automatons
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 necessary for future growth
while
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 others believe that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can be harmful and have detrimental impacts on
community
Add an article
the community
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. I opine that
,
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apply
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 only a substantial proportion of
such
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machines
Use synonyms
 should be
manufcatured
Correct your spelling
manufactured
 and meanwhile,
priciples
Correct your spelling
principles
 of handling and operating them correctly should be regulated in
society
Use synonyms
. To commence with, various factors
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 a section of
society
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 advocate that
robots
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plays
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play
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 an important role.
Firstly
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, these
machines
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 can not only handle tremendous tasks at one time but
also
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 have uncountable traits which a person can never have
such
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 as
,
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apply
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unbreakable
Correct article usage
an unbreakable
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 body, lifelong
gurantee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
 and emotionless nature.
Secondly
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,
robots
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 can
avail
Verb problem
be
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 in
developing
Correct article usage
the developing
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 IT sector as it is a resemblance
of
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to
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computer
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computers
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 which can store memory and help
society
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 by providing information related to computer science.
Lastly
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,
such
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 automaton can be adopted by any individual for their personal uses despite any tough work which can be a
dauting
Correct your spelling
daunting
 task for a human to do.
On the other hand
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, critics
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 that
robots
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 can create problems in
society
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.
According to
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them
Add a comma
them,
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 enormous people can take advantage of
such
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machines
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 by
induldging
Correct your spelling
indulging
robots
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 in activities like crime, kidnapping and hacking for
there
Correct your spelling
their
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 own purposes.There are more chances of people being reliable on these
machines
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 even for minor things.
Moreover
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, building
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
robots
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 on
large
Correct article usage
a large
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 scale will
also
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consequenlty
Correct your spelling
consequently
 diminish human beings from the world in future.
I
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
 my opinion,
accurate
Correct article usage
the accurate
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 use of
robots
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 can render
society
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 with tons of benefits as traits of these
machines
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 can lead to a powerful and stronger economy.
To conclude
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,
although
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 it is very useful for
society
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 to manufacture
robots
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at
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 scale, limited and proper utilisation of
such
Linking Words
machines
Use synonyms
 is
impoprtant
Correct your spelling
important
 to maintain a safer and
peaceful
Correct quantifier usage
more peaceful
show examples
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your arguments are clearly structured within each paragraph. Each main point should ideally have its own paragraph that begins with a topic sentence summarizing the point you will discuss.
task achievement
Work on spelling and grammar. Proofreading your work for typographical errors could improve clarity.
task achievement
Include specific examples or case studies to support your points, as this can strengthen your arguments and increase your score.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument clearly, which is good for task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction effectively outlines the topic and your opinion, providing a clear starting point for your essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Autonomous robots
  • Technological advancement
  • Economic inequality
  • Job displacement
  • Ethical considerations
  • Labor shortages
  • Precision and efficiency
  • Hazardous job roles
  • Innovation
  • Economic opportunities
  • Security threats
  • Social skills erosion
  • Regulation and governance
  • Integration
  • Human-to-human interaction
What to do next:
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