Academic Writing Part 2 The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some argue that people’s well-being will decline in the future.

However

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, I strongly disagree, as advancements in technology and

healthcare

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will continue to improve life expectancy and

overall

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health

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. In the past, even minor illnesses could be fatal

due to

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limited medical knowledge and resources. Diseases like influenza and pneumonia caused widespread deaths in the early 1900s because effective treatments were unavailable. Today,

however

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, modern medicine, vaccinations, and advanced diagnostic tools have significantly reduced mortality rates.

For example

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, influenza, once life-threatening, is now largely preventable through annual vaccinations, and pneumonia is easily treated with antibiotics.

Moreover

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, breakthroughs in medical research,

such

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as gene therapy and artificial intelligence in diagnostics, allow for early disease detection, leading to better patient outcomes. As technology evolves, these innovations will

further

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enhance human longevity and quality of life.

Furthermore

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, increased accessibility to

healthcare

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has played a crucial role in improving public

health

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. In many countries, individuals can easily contact emergency services, schedule virtual consultations, or receive remote medical monitoring. Italy,

for instance

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, has one of the highest median ages in Europe, reflecting improved

healthcare

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access and preventive care.

Additionally

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, public

health

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campaigns and educational programs encourage healthier lifestyles, reducing the prevalence of chronic diseases like diabetes and heart disease. Governments are

also

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investing more in

healthcare

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infrastructure, ensuring that even rural communities receive proper medical attention. In conclusion,

while

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some fear a decline in

health

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standards, ongoing advancements in medical science, improved

healthcare

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accessibility, and greater public awareness suggest

otherwise

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. The future is likely to bring longer, healthier, and more fulfilling lives for generations to come.

mvl Sun Mar 16 2025

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task achievement

Your arguments are well-structured and directly address the question. You've provided strong, clear reasons supporting your opinion that people's health will improve in the future. To enhance your score, consider adding a counterargument to show awareness of differing views, even if you don't agree with them.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay flows logically, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that are well-developed, and a concise conclusion. To improve cohesion, you can use more varied linking words and phrases to connect your ideas. For example, instead of just 'however' or 'moreover,' try alternatives like 'furthermore' or 'on the other hand' where appropriate.

strong example

Your use of specific examples, such as vaccinations and advancements in technology, strengthens your arguments significantly.

clarity of expression

The clarity of your ideas and the precise language you used provides a strong foundation for your essay, making your position easy to understand.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Academic Writing Part 2 The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Now-a-days many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. What could be the advantages and disadvantages of being self-employed?

(VMN)Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, government should focus on reducing environment pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?