IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In most countries, prison is the most common ~Solution when people commit a crime. However, if they were to receive better education, it Could prevent them from becoming criminals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In many regions, prison is the most preferred way when folks
did
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do
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 an illegal activity.
Nevertheless
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,
such
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 a condition may be prevented if a person
have
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has
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 joined a school before. I completely agree with
this
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 statement as education which constantly
construct
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constructs
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 mindset is better than direct punishment.
Consequently
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, community members who join an educational institution can explore their potential.
To begin
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 with,
learning
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the learning
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 process is critical in order to develop
ones
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one's
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 mind as it teaches us several things
such
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 as morals, rules, and other forms of social manners.
Furthermore
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, it
is offering
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offers
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 several examples of
criminal's
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criminal
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 activities that can lead
us
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apply
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to a negative
consquence
Correct your spelling
consequence
.
In addition
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, it
also
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 provides some friends who may stop us
to
Change preposition
from
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do
Verb problem
making
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 some bad decisions.
For example
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, a naughty kid in a school can be directed by his or her environment to become more polite gradually.
Thus
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, an education whether it is formal or informal, can be helpful to force someone
becomes
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to become
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 better.
As a result
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, community members who get an education can do something useful as it offers various activities
such
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 as
robotic
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robotics
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,
sport
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sports
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, and art.
Moreover
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, an extra class is helpful in order to allocate students' time, including
prevent
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preventing
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 them from several bad influences.
Additionally
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,
study
Correct article usage
the study
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 section is
also
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 critical in terms of finding hobbies that could be useful in the future.
For instance
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, a pupil who
have
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has
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 more energy than others can be influenced to attend
in
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apply
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a number of sports classes, so they can distribute their time and energy for something good,
not to mention
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 the outstanding progress that they may show.
Hence
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, it is vital for people to go to school because it
have
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has
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 a number of useful sections.
To sum up
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, a learning program is crucial for
someone
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someone's
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developments
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development
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.
In addition
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, it
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also
Add a missing verb
is also
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 vital for individual growth. Those reasons can be positive in order to mitigate
someone from
Change preposition
someone's
show examples
 illegal actions.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure a stronger introduction by explicitly stating your opinion and briefly outlining your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Use more connecting words and phrases to improve the flow of your ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your claims, especially in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
Check grammar and subject-verb agreement, especially in phrases like 'a person have' and 'it have.'
task achievement
You express a clear agreement with the statement that education can prevent crime, demonstrating a position from the outset.
task achievement
You provide examples of how education can influence behavior, which is a strong point in your argument.
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