IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Education has become more and more about tests and results, and less about becoming a good citizen. This is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, many
students
Use synonyms
 study only to pass exams rather than to attain meaningful knowledge. In many countries,
education
Use synonyms
 focuses too much on testing or evaluating rather than helping
students
Use synonyms
 develop life
skills
Use synonyms
 that they actually can apply. In conclusion,
students
Use synonyms
 achieve high scores on the test but struggle with real-world challenges. I believe
this
Linking Words
 is a negative development for two reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, children need to acquire practical knowledge that can be applied in real life. In today’s society, rather than focusing on high test scores, it is more important to develop practical
skills
Use synonyms
 and problem-solving abilities that we can adapt in the workplace.
For instance
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
 may learn basic economic theories in school,
this
Linking Words
 does not necessarily mean they can effectively perform statistical analyses in a professional setting.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
education
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 plays a key role in socialization. Test-based
education
Use synonyms
 hinders creativity and social
skills
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 a lack of communication between
students
Use synonyms
. From my experience, we barely communicated in most of the classes for three years. If
students
Use synonyms
 are studying without debates and communication, they are going to lose the ability to think critically. In conclusion, the current learning process is a negative development since it ignores the importance of practical
skills
Use synonyms
 and socialization.
Instead
Linking Words
 of just focusing on test results,
education
Use synonyms
 should help
students
Use synonyms
 deal with real-world
skills
Use synonyms
 and foster communication to develop critical thinking. If schools encourage young children to share their opinions and engage in debates, they will become more capable of adapting to real-life situations.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider expanding on your ideas with more detailed examples or explanations to better illustrate your points.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the flow of your essay between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion on the issue, setting a strong foundation for your argument.
task achievement
You have effectively highlighted key points in addressing how testing impacts practical skills and socialization.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: