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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the amount of money spent on two types of electronic items in country X.

The bar chart shows the amount of money spent on two types of electronic items in country X.
The bar chart illustrates the amount of money spent on
computers
Use synonyms
 and smartphones in country X from 2011 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
,
sales
Use synonyms
 of both
computers
Use synonyms
 and smartphones increased over the given period.
However
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
computers
Use synonyms
 had higher
sales
Use synonyms
 throughout,
smartphone
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 grew at a faster rate, especially in the later years. In 2011, around 30
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 were spent on
computers
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
smartphone
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 were significantly lower, at approximately 10
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
. Over the next two years, computer
sales
Use synonyms
 gradually increased to about 35
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2012 and 40
million
Use synonyms
 in 2013,
while
Linking Words
smartphone
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 remained stable at around 10
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
. From 2014 onwards,
smartphone
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 began to rise significantly, reaching about 25
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2014 and almost 45
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2015. Meanwhile, computer
sales
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 continued to grow, reaching around 50
million
Use synonyms
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2014 and slightly above 50
million
Use synonyms
 in 2015.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words computers, sales, smartphone, million, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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