IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?

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In recent times , a group of
people
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 are migrating from
one
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place
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 to another as compared to
past
Correct article usage
the past
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. Behind
this
Linking Words
, there are two main factors
that
Linking Words
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
work
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 and
study
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. I will explain both
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
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 and benefits in upcoming paragraphs. To commence with,
individual
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individuals
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 move from
one
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place
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 to another for their
work
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 and
study
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.To illustrate,some gens are living in countryside
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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. They don't have lots of opportunities for attaining education at
higher
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a higher
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 level.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
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 migrate from their
village
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villages
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 to big cities and towns, where they not only get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
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 to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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study
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 at
higher
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a higher
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 level, but individuals can
also
Linking Words
 enjoy
work
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 opportunities.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 migration process not only
happen
Correct subject-verb agreement
happens
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 within
country
Correct article usage
a country
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, but
people
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also
Linking Words
travelling
Wrong verb form
travel
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 internationally for their
study
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 and
work
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people
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 move from
under developed
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
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 countries to developed countries. To start with benefits, by travelling from
one
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place
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 to another, and from
country
Correct pronoun usage
one country
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 to another country, they can learn the culture of different communities.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
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 can
also
Linking Words
 learn different languages. They can become multilingual.
People
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 can
work
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 at
higher
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a higher
the higher
show examples
 level where they can enjoy highly paid salary. In conclusion, individuals move from
one
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place
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 to another
due to
Linking Words
 some reasons like
study
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 and
work
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, which will benefit them in many ways.

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Task Response
Your introduction clearly states the topic and outlines what you will discuss. However, try to rephrase the question slightly to signal that you fully understood the prompt. For example, mention the increasing trend of travelling as a phenomenon in modern society.
Coherence and Cohesion
The connections between your ideas are generally clear, but consider using more varied linking words and phrases to improve flow. For example, you can use 'Additionally', 'On the other hand', etc., to connect your sentences better.
Task Response
While your points about work and study are relevant, ensure you provide more specific examples. For instance, you could mention specific job sectors or academic fields that motivate travel.
Cohesion
You provided a structure to your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is important for clarity.
Task Achievement
You introduced the benefits of travelling well, touching upon cultural understanding and language acquisition, which are significant points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economy pricing
  • Cultural exchange
  • International business
  • Heritage sites
  • Cosmopolitan
  • Global citizen
  • Study abroad
  • Standard of living
  • Destination
  • Itinerary
  • Online bookings
  • Digital nomad
  • Bucket list
  • Sustainable travel
  • Eco-tourism
What to do next:
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