Governments in many countries have recently introduced special taxes on foods and beverages with high levels of sugar. Some think these taxes are a good idea while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The importance of taxation is significant, it is the backbone of the nation's development. In
this
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regard, numerous international authorities have introduced a duty on processed goods and cold drinks, which contain an excessive amount of calories, many people claiming that it is beneficial
while
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others reject
this
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notion. In my opinion, taxes on unhealthy products appear to be more rational.
This
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essay will
further
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elaborate on both perspectives and
thus
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will lead to a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
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, the first and foremost reason behind
this
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is that in recent times communities have highly relied on pre-cooked edibles, which contain artificial sweetness, carbohydrates and synthetic oil.
Whereas
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, over-reliance on packaged snacks influences physical and mental health challenges .
For example
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, a study conducted by WHO shows pre-packed foods not only influence physical illness including, high blood pressure, heart disease and obesity but
also
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increase mental disorders
such
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as
,
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apply
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depression and anxiety.
Therefore
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, a tariff policy on high-calorie foods and cold drinks fosters to reduction of these challenges. Categorically, discussing it can not be ignored that
such
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implementations harness the nation's GDP. On second thought, a couple of reasons drive me to consider the opposite notion as well. Imposing financial regulations on the processed food market increases the financial burden on families and portrays an unfair decision for restaurants and producers.
However
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, alternative approaches to health issues contribute to sustainability, education, awareness and community wellness programs about nutritious meal plans and daily exercise routines to enhance the
overall
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well-being of the citizens.
Hence
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, it is apparent why many people are in favour of an alternative approach. To recapitulate
according to
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the arguments and aforementioned, one reaches the conclusion that the benefits of enforcing duties on high-calorie cuisine are indeed too great.
Such
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policies contribute to improving both mental and physical well-being
while
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also
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strengthening the nation's GDP.
Nevertheless
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, alternative approaches
such
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as promoting health education, awareness, and sustainable lifestyle choices should not be overlooked either.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion and outlines the key points, which is great! However, ensure to also summarize the opposing view slightly more to provide a balanced perspective right from the start.
coherence and cohesion
In your second paragraph, while you provide good examples, aim to ensure that each point is directly linked back to the benefits of the tax to reinforce your argument more explicitly.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the arguments well, but it would benefit from a clearer restatement of your opinion to reinforce your stance to the reader.
task achievement
Your essay showcases a good understanding of the topic and presents both sides of the argument effectively, which demonstrates strong task achievement.
task achievement
The use of relevant examples, such as the WHO study, adds credibility to your argument and helps to support your main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • processed foods
  • punitive measures
  • revenue
  • public health campaigns
  • awareness
  • government overreach
  • personal freedoms
  • unhealthy diets
  • economic burden
  • sugar-related health issues
  • consumer behavior
  • taxation
  • high levels of sugar
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