Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

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Achieving a peaceful
life
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with unlimited
happiness
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is the ultimate goal for many individuals. Many folks have a notion that to get
happiness
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,
money
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is important. Indeed, banknotes are substantial as they provide basic needs and comfort to people.
Also
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, with financial security, people can facilitate supporting relationships and social connections. Fulfillment of the desires can make an individual happy and
this
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is because of the currency they earn in the day-to-day
life
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.
This
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essay will explain the importance of
money
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to obtain
happiness
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.
To begin
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with, food, healthcare, and shelter are the fundamental aspects of a stable and comfortable
life
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.
However
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, in acquiring these essential necessities,
money
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is the key. A lack of these basic needs can lead to stress,insecurity, and general unhappiness.
For instance
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, many beggars are vulnerable and sorrowful as they do not have sufficient funds to get a bite of food.
Therefore
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, arranging prime facilities using cash, leads to a stress-free and joyous
life
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for the community.
Furthermore
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, family connections and networks are the supreme components, leading to blissful well-being.
Hence
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, by means of economic security, people can enable experiences that strengthen relationships,
such
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as family vacations,dinner with friends, or gifts that show appreciation and love.
For example
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, having a small vacation with dear ones can make us more contented.
Thus
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, having financial means to support and nurture these ties can enhance one's sense of fulfilment.
Overall
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, human's bare minimal requirements depend on
money
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.
This
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is because, it enables one to achieve all the necessities and
also
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, helps to maintain social ties with family and friends , increasing the
happiness
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index of an individual as they feel more financially secure. In general, to find satisfaction and pleasure,
money
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is essential.

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task achievement
While your introduction provides a clear thesis statement, it could be enhanced by directly addressing the significance of money in achieving happiness. Additionally, consider revising the conclusion to summarize your key points more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, but some sentences could be clearer. For example, clarify the link between family connections and happiness, and ensure to have appropriate spacing after commas.
task achievement
Consider using more specific real-life examples to support your points and enhance your argument. Personal anecdotes or more relatable examples could strengthen your discussion.
content
You successfully articulate the connection between money and basic needs, making your argument relatable and clear. The use of examples like family vacations effectively illustrates your points.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • facilitation
  • foundational
  • comfort
  • financial stability
  • pursue hobbies
  • passionate
  • fulfilling
  • satisfying
  • financial security
  • peace of mind
  • mental well-being
  • fostering
  • social connections
  • fulfillment
  • material possessions
  • lasting memories
  • satisfaction
  • diminishing returns
  • wealth
  • translate
  • significant
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