IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some students take a year off between finishing school and starting university to travel or work. Do the advantages of taking a gap year outweigh the disadvantages?

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A
gap
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year
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, where
students
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 take a break between finishing school and starting
university
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, has become increasingly popular. Some
students
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 use
this
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time
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 to travel or work, gaining new experiences before continuing their education.
While
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 there are both advantages and disadvantages to taking a
gap
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year
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, I believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. One major advantage of taking a
gap
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year
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 is the opportunity for personal growth.
Traveling
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Travelling
show examples
 allows
students
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 to
experience
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 new cultures, learn new languages, and develop independence. These experiences can make them more mature and confident before entering
university
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.
Additionally
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, working during a
gap
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year
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 helps
students
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 gain practical skills,
such
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 as
time
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 management and financial responsibility. Earning money can
also
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 help them pay for
university
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 expenses, reducing financial stress in the future. Another benefit is that a
gap
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year
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 can help
students
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 make better
career
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 choices. Some
students
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 are unsure about what they want to study at
university
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. By working or volunteering in different fields, they can gain a clearer understanding of their interests and
career
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 goals.
This
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 prevents them from choosing the wrong course and dropping out later.
However
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, there are some disadvantages to taking a
gap
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year
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. One concern is that
students
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 may lose motivation to return to their studies. After spending a
year
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traveling
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travelling
show examples
 or working, they might find it difficult to adjust back to academic life.
Additionally
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, a
gap
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year
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 can be expensive, especially if a student chooses to travel. Without proper planning, they might struggle financially or waste valuable
time
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. Despite these drawbacks, I believe the benefits of a
gap
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year
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 outweigh the disadvantages. If
students
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 use their
time
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 wisely by gaining work
experience
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 or learning new skills, a
gap
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year
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 can be highly valuable. It can help them develop personally, make better
career
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 decisions, and enter
university
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 with more confidence and purpose. In conclusion,
while
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 taking a
gap
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year
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 has some risks, the advantages of personal growth, work
experience
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, and
career
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 clarity make it a worthwhile choice. With careful planning and a clear purpose,
students
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 can benefit greatly from
this
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experience
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.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing specific examples to illustrate your points about personal growth and career decisions. For instance, mentioning a specific experience during travel or a job role could strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your structure is clear, varying your sentence structure could add more interest and fluidity to your writing. Try to use a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Make sure to address the disadvantages in a bit more depth. You mentioned them but did not develop them as fully as the advantages. A more balanced treatment could enhance your argument.
Task Achievement
Your introduction is clear and effectively sets the stage for your argument. You state your position clearly from the beginning, which is great for task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Each paragraph has a clear main idea, and your points are logically structured. This makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument, contributing to coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the key points effectively, reaffirming your position. This creates a strong ending and reinforces your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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