IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #university #students #study #subjects #future #science #technology
Some argue that university
students
 should study
subjects
 that they enjoy,
while
 others believe that they should focus solely on fields that are useful for their future, particularly those related to science and technology.
Although
 studying these practical
subjects
 is crucial for securing good jobs and salaries, I believe that enrolling in
subjects
students
 are passionate about leads to greater success in their chosen fields.
To begin
 with, studying science and technology at the tertiary level enables
students
 to find well-paying jobs more easily. Modern workplaces often require up-to-date technological knowledge to enhance work quality and remain competitive.
Consequently
, employees with
such
 expertise tend to receive better remuneration.
For instance
, many IT graduates from the University of Toronto have secured high-paying positions in renowned companies.
Nevertheless
, I contend that a student's passion for their field of study is more significant than their future earnings.
On the other hand
, it is essential for university
students
 to pursue
subjects
 they love, as
this
 fosters a successful career. A genuine passion for a subject encourages
students
 to exceed their limits, be creative, and continuously seek improvement, which can lead to promotions and professional growth.
For instance
, many well-known musicians chose to study music
due to
 their passion for it, and
this
 positive spirit helped them excel in their careers.
Therefore
, I support the view that studying a favoured subject is more beneficial. In conclusion,
while
 a degree in science and technology can offer graduates a promising career and substantial income, I believe that pursuing
subjects
 they are passionate about is more advantageous, as it leads to success and fulfilment in their field.
Submitted by maisarahamirah16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Overall coherence and flow can be slightly improved by integrating more transitional phrases between paragraphs.
task achievement
Try to expand on the point about why passion in a subject is more beneficial with additional examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion which summarizes the key points effectively.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with relevant and specific examples, making the arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task, addressing both perspectives and offering a clear opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
What to do next:
Look at other essays: