IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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There is a statement that emphasizes the importance of saving
money
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 for the future for all
people
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,young and old, personally; I completely agree with
this
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 statement.
To begin
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 with, young
people
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 are at a point in their lives where they probably do not have a stable source of income and a tendency to party a lot and waste their
money
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 on trivial matters.
Therefore
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, they must save every penny for the most important stuff like education,
apartment
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apartments
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, and health insurance.
For example
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, my nephew has been a financially responsible person since a young age, he saves his monthly allowance and does not spend much. Lately, he has been able to fully pay for an apartment in the city
center
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centre
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 close to his college, without any help from his parents.
However
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, saving
money
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 is not only important to young
people
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, older ones
also
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 have to learn to be wise financially. To explain, life is always unpredictable
therefore
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 living without any guarantees is a huge risk no one can tell when they will lose their income or if they will be injured and unable to work and earn anymore.
For instance
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, I have an uncle who injured his back to the point he can not sit or stand for long hours. His job fired him
due to
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 his inability to work. Luckily he had invested the
money
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 he saved from over 20 years in lands,
therefore
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 he did not suffer a lot from the layout.
To conclude
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, the importance of saving
money
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 for the future for all
people
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, juniors and seniors, is a statement which I agree with for several reasons. One is, for young
adults
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adults,
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 it is always in their best interest to save their
money
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 to pay for important stuff since they don’t have a source of income yet. The other is,
due to
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 the unpredictable nature of life, putting
money
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 aside for any urgent matter is always a wise decision.

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Task Achievement
While your introduction presents your agreement clearly, consider briefly outlining the main points you will discuss in your essay to give the reader a clearer roadmap.
Coherence and Cohesion
In your second paragraph, try to vary your sentence structures more to enhance the reading experience. This can also help elaborate on your points further.
Task Achievement
Ensure you clearly connect your examples to your main arguments to strengthen your points. For instance, enhance the link between saving and its relation to the unpredictability of life.
Task Achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents relevant examples to support your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The use of transition words helps guide the reader through your points effectively, contributing to the overall flow of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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