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Writing Samples
Band 6

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers.

In every society,
parents
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 play an essential role in shaping their
children
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's values and
behaviour
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. There is a common belief that
parents
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 are the most effective teachers for their
children
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.
While
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 some argue that
parents
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 alone are not sufficient to guide
children
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 in every area. From my point of view, I totally agree with
this
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 statement .
However
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, I
also
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 think that other
factors
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,
such
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 as school education and social interaction, are important in a child’s development. First of all, raising a child is one of the most challenging responsibilities in our contemporary world.
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Children’s
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behaviour
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 is shaped by their
parents
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, who act as role models and provide the first lessons in values, communication, and social interaction.
For example
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,
children
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 usually learn honesty, kindness, and respect at home long before they encounter these ideas in school.
In addition
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,
parents
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 give emotional support and security, which are essential for a child’s healthy psychological development. Without
this
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 foundation, it would be difficult for
children
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 to succeed academically or build strong relationships in society.
Nevertheless
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,
while
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parents
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 provide the foundation, other
factors
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such
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 as professional teachers, real-life experiences, and friends
also
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 have a strong influence on
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children’s
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 attitudes.
For instance
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, school is one of the most significant places to reinforce not only academic knowledge but
also
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 discipline, cooperation, and respect for rules. Teachers are trained to deliver structured education, which
parents
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 alone may not be able to provide.
In addition
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, friends and peer groups shape
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children’s
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 social
behaviour
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 by teaching them how to share, collaborate, and solve conflicts.
Furthermore
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, real-life experiences
such
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 as participating in sports or cultural activities help
children
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 develop independence and resilience. These
factors
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 together complement parental guidance and contribute to a well-rounded personality. In conclusion,
while
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parents
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 provide the essential foundation for their
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children’s
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 values and
behaviour
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, other
factors
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such
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 as formal education, peer interaction, and life experiences are equally important. A balanced combination of these influences ensures a child’s academic, social, and emotional development.

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grammar
Fix grammar and sentence flow. Some lines are incomplete or end with a period but miss a main idea. Check punctuation and make sure each sentence has a clear verb and end.
structure
Make the start and end stronger. The introduction should show your clear stance and what you will argue, and the conclusion should briefly sum up the main ideas.
lexical resource
Use only simple, known words. Be careful with hard words like resilience or reinforce. Keep spelling consistency (behaviour vs behavior).
content
Add one or two specific examples for each main point to back up your idea. Link home, school, and friends to how they shape value and skill.
task response
Clear main idea and position are visible in the essay.
coherence
Good use of linking words that show how ideas move from one point to the next.
content
The body shows a balanced view with both home and school help.
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