Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of modern society. Some people think that we must return to older more traditional values such as respect for the elderly people and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that modern
society
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is driven by individual greed and selfishness, which they believe have led to social and moral decline. These critics suggest that returning to traditional
values
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,
such
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as respect for the elderly and a stronger sense of community, could improve the world.
While
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I acknowledge that some aspects of modern
society
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promote self-interest, I believe that a complete return to older
values
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is not a realistic solution. The idea that returning entirely to traditional
values
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will improve
society
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overlooks the fact that modern advancements have fostered many positive changes.
For instance
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, individualism has enabled personal freedom, innovation, and the empowerment of
marginalized
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groups. Women and minorities now have more opportunities than in the past, where traditional norms often
did limit
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limited
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their roles in
society
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in the past. Another reason why a complete return to traditional
values
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is impractical is the changing nature of modern
society
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’s economic and social structures. In the past, communities were more tightly knit, and people often lived in the same place for most of their lives, which made traditional
values
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more relevant.
However
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, in today’s globalised world, individuals are more mobile and more likely to seek opportunities far from their hometowns.
This
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has led to a more diverse and dynamic
society
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where individual ambitions and career aspirations often take precedence over older
values
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such
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as community-based living or generational co-dependence. Expecting modern individuals to fully embrace traditional
values
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in
such
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a fluid and fast-paced environment is unrealistic and could hinder personal and professional growth. In conclusion,
while
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certain traditional
values
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like respect for elders and community responsibility could help address some of the issues facing modern
society
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, a complete return to these
values
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is neither feasible nor desirable.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position, which is very good.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear conclusion that nicely wraps up your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • modern society
  • traditional values
  • familial bonds
  • community ties
  • collective well-being
  • individual gain
  • responsibility
  • care for others
  • neglect
  • isolation
  • honesty
  • respect
  • cooperation
  • individual greed
  • ethical conduct
  • social cohesion
  • crime rates
  • mental health
  • general happiness
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