IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

More and more developing countries are expanding their tourism industries. What do you think are the reasons for this? Is it a positive development?

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In recent years, many developing
countries
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 have been actively promoting and expanding their
tourist
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 industries.
This
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 essay explores the reasons behind
this
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 trend and argues that it is indeed a positive
development
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 because the
growth
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 of
tourism
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 brings numerous economic, social, and cultural benefits to these nations, fostering sustainable
development
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 and improving the
overall
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 quality of life for their citizens. One of the main reasons why developing
countries
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 are focusing on expanding their
tourist
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 industries is the potential for economic
growth
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 and
development
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.
Tourism
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 brings in foreign exchange through visitor spending, stimulates investment in infrastructure, and creates job opportunities across various sectors.
For example
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, the Maldives, a small island nation in South Asia, heavily relies on
tourism
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 as its primary source of revenue. The influx of tourists has resulted in the construction of resorts, the
development
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 of transportation networks, and the creation of jobs in hospitality, transportation, and entertainment industries.
This
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 is a positive
development
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 because
this
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 economic
growth
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 helps alleviate poverty, enhance infrastructure, and improve the standard of living for local communities.
Moreover
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, the expansion of the
tourist
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 industry in developing
countries
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 can have positive social impacts.
Tourism
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 fosters cultural exchange and understanding between visitors and local communities. It allows for the preservation and promotion of traditional arts, crafts, and customs, as tourists often seek authentic cultural experiences.
For instance
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,
countries
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 like Peru and Cambodia have experienced a surge in
tourism
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due to
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 their rich cultural heritage, including ancient ruins and historical sites.
Additionally
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, the
growth
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 of
tourism
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 can create environmental awareness and foster sustainable practices. Developing
countries
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 often possess natural attractions
such
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 as pristine beaches, lush forests, and unique wildlife, which draw tourists seeking eco-friendly experiences. To protect these natural resources, governments and local communities are motivated to implement sustainable
tourism
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 practices,
such
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 as responsible waste management, conservation efforts, and eco-
tourism
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 initiatives. In conclusion, the expansion of the
tourist
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 industry in developing
countries
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 is a positive
development
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. It brings economic
growth
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, job creation, cultural exchange, and environmental conservation.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly states the purpose of the essay and presents a concise argument. However, consider adding a brief overview of the main points that will be discussed in the body of the essay to enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas are logically organized, and each paragraph flows well into the next. However, ensure that you clearly link the benefits of tourism back to the initial points introduced in the introduction for enhanced coherence.
Task Achievement
While your examples, like those from the Maldives, Peru, and Cambodia, are relevant, consider adding more specific data or statistics to strengthen your arguments. This enhances credibility and depth in your explanations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
Task Achievement
You effectively highlight the economic, social, and environmental benefits of tourism in developing countries, showing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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