IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#internet #newspapers
Because of the development of
technology
,
newspapers
 are becoming unpopular compared to the
Internet
. With the fame of high-tech nowadays, the writer of
this
 essay totally agrees that the huge information and the convenience that the
internet
 brings many benefits and alternative ways of reading.
Firstly
,
newspapers
 have limits so printing a new one costs lots of paper and ink,
while
 the
Internet
 can store huge data.
This
 is to say,
instead
 of wasting papers for printing news, individuals can upload information to the
internet
 that has no limit.
Moreover
, humans can reduce the number of trees cut down and prevent global warming.
For example
, millions of trees are cut down daily to make paper and humans must deal with many types of natural disasters.
As a result
,
technology
 can replace the role of
newspapers
 that have a big negative impact on the environment.
Secondly
, humans tend to optimize their use of anything in their development and
technology
 creates the convenience for receiving the news. To explain, readers can easily read news anywhere and anytime they want with their smart
technology
,
whereas
newspapers
 cannot.
Furthermore
, readers can find information on the
internet
 quickly and there will be various contents which they are looking for. Job hunting,
for instance
, employees have more chances to get a job
that is
 required on the
Internet
 and employers do not need to spend more money on advertising.
Thus
, in digital
technology
 nowadays, there are many advantages to transforming
newspapers
 into the
Internet
such
 as protecting human habitats and gigantic spaces for images, posters, words, etc.
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task achievement
The essay provides a clear stance and adequately addresses the task. However, to enhance the score further, consider adding a few more specific examples to strengthen the arguments. For instance, you could discuss the impact of online news on local journalism or provide statistical data regarding the decline in newspaper circulation.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is logically structured, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Using more varied linking words and phrases will enhance cohesion. For example, instead of starting a sentence with 'To explain,' you might say 'To illustrate this point further.'
coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from a stronger conclusion that summarizes the main points discussed and reinforces the overall argument. Ensure that the conclusion succinctly recaps the primary reasons for the transition from newspapers to the Internet.
task achievement
The essay has a clear and concise introduction that sets the tone and provides a clear stance on the issue.
task achievement
Most of the main points are supported with relevant examples; this adds strength to the argument and demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
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