Organized tours to remote areas and communities are increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and the environment?

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It is a fact that organized tours to remote
areas
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and communities have become increasingly popular worldwide. Despite some economic advantages for local communities, I firmly believe that the negative consequences for both the local people and the environment outweigh any potential benefits. On the one hand, organized
tourism
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can offer several benefits to residents of remote
areas
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.
Firstly
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,
tourism
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creates employment opportunities.
For instance
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, increased
tourism
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often leads to the development of hotels, restaurants, and other services, providing job opportunities to local people.
Secondly
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,
tourists
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often spend substantial amounts of money, particularly affluent travellers, boosting local businesses and economies.
Additionally
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, cultural exchange between
tourists
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and local communities can enhance mutual understanding and enrich the daily lives of residents through exposure to different customs and traditions.
On the other hand
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, the rise in organized tours to remote
areas
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can have significant detrimental impacts on local populations and the environment.
Firstly
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, increased
tourism
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often results in rising housing prices.
For example
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, wealthy
tourists
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can afford to pay high rates for accommodation, driving up housing costs and making it unaffordable for local residents.
Secondly
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, the influx of
tourists
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often leads to environmental degradation. Visitors frequently generate substantial amounts of waste, causing pollution and long-term damage to fragile ecosystems.
Lastly
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, travelling long distances typically involves air travel, which significantly contributes to greenhouse gas emissions and exacerbates climate change. In conclusion,
while
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organized tours to remote regions may provide certain economic and cultural benefits to local people, the negative effects on both the community and the environment are far more substantial.
Therefore
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, careful management and regulations are essential to minimize the adverse impacts of
tourism
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in remote
areas
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus on a single idea, and consider providing a more explicit connection between the points made in the paragraphs, which could enhance overall clarity.
task achievement
In the introduction, outlining the specific negative consequences in a more detailed way could improve the clarity of the argument. Similarly, a more explicit conclusion that summarizes the key points made could strengthen your argument further.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by addressing both the benefits and drawbacks of organized tours, which is commendable.
coherence and cohesion
The vocabulary used is varied and appropriate, enhancing the overall quality of the writing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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