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Writing Samples
Band 6

nowadays, it is easier for young people to have a credit card compared to the past. do the advantages of this trend outwage of the disadvantages?

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In today's fast-paced world, banks have eased the regulations that grant
credit
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 cards to young
people
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, which
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 harder to obtain in the past.
While
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this
Linking Words
 trend has downsides, I believe the advantages outweigh them,
such
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 as easing young adults'
lives
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 and providing them with extra discounts. One major benefit of obtaining a
credit
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card
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 easily is that banks and some business owners have a deal about a discount rate for selected items, which are particularly technological items. When young adults use these banks'
credit
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 cards, they can save their
money
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. As they spend less
money
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for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their technological needs, they have more flexibility in their grocery budget.
For instance
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, MasterCard and Apple have a partnership that enables young
people
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 to purchase new computers with a 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 discount through a 12-month
installment
Change the spelling
instalment
show examples
 plan.
As a result
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, young
people
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 can spend more
money
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 on their other needs.
However
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, one major concern of obtaining a
credit
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card
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 easily is that young
people
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 spend an excessive amount of
money
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 carelessly.
This
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 is because they have less experience in making a budget and may not
prioritize
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prioritise
show examples
 their expenditures, which in turn means they don't have enough
money
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 by the end of the month.
Therefore
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, they live paycheck to paycheck, and these financial issues place considerable pressure on their
lives
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, resulting in anxiety and other mental health issues.To illustrate, a friend of mine received a
credit
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card
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 with a five-thousand-dollar limit and spent all of it on new clothes and shoes without any consideration, leaving him with only five hundred dollars for the rest of the year and causing him significant anxiety.
Thus
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, obtaining a
credit
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card
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 easily gives
people
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 too much freedom to spend
money
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 without thinking. In conclusion,
while
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 easy access to a
credit
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card
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 has some drawbacks, I believe it has a positive impact on young
people
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's
lives
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, particularly in making their
lives
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 easier.
Overall
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, the advantages of
this
Linking Words
 trend outweigh its disadvantages.

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task response
Answer the question more directly in each body part. Show more clearly why the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
Develop the bad side a little more, then compare both sides more clearly before the end.
coherence and cohesion
Use one clear topic sentence for each body part and keep all ideas in that part close to that main point.
coherence and cohesion
Check linking words and small grammar breaks between sentences so the flow is smoother.
task response
You gave a clear opinion from the start and kept it to the end.
task response
You used examples to support both sides, which helps your ideas feel real and clear.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear beginning, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas follow in a logical order, so the reader can follow your meaning well.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • credit card
  • trend
  • advantage
  • disadvantage
  • debt
  • interest
  • fee
  • budget
  • spend
  • save
  • buy
  • emergency
  • credit score
  • loan
  • minimum payment
  • late payment
  • annual fee
  • limit
  • control
  • risk
  • safety
  • security
  • identity theft
  • monitor
  • statement
  • cardholder
  • sign up
  • approve
  • sign up
  • student card
  • parental guidance
  • education
  • awareness
  • balance
  • responsibility
  • wallet
  • money
  • plan
  • choice
  • benefit
  • challenge
  • overall
  • therefore
  • however
  • in addition
  • for example
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