IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Write a letter to a friend who just moved into a new house that you are sending a gift to. Include What the gift is Why you chose it How it will be delivere

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Dear Sim, I hope you are doing great. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to inform you about something which I will be sending to your home in next couple of days. It's been ages
we
Correct word choice
since we
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have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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met. But I know we both were busy in our schedules.
Last
Linking Words
 week, when I got your email that you are moving to my hometown I was over the moon. I couldn't believe that now we can meet whenever we want. Unfortunately, as you know I am working with Bell company in which sometimes I have to go out of town. So, for two weeks I will be out of
city
Add an article
the city
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 but I eagerly wanted to meet you, in
couple
Change the article
a couple
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 of days you will receive my parcel. I have sent some
essentials
Change the noun form
essential
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 products which can be helpful for you so that you don't have to
buy
Correct pronoun usage
buy them
show examples
. I have sent
coffee
Correct article usage
a coffee
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 machine as you are
coffee
Add an article
a coffee
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 lover and
its
Correct your spelling
it's
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 hard to find
good
Add an article
a good
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 coffee shop near your home. 
As well as
Linking Words
, some cotton pillows to help you to get good sleep. I hope you will like the gifts. I have sent them through
amazon
Capitalize word
Amazon
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 so
while
Linking Words
 receiving you have to sign and give them
code
Correct article usage
a code
show examples
. Looking forward to
meet
Change the verb form
meeting
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 to soon. Yours truly, Sam

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task achievement
Try to include more specific details about when the coffee machine and pillows were shipped or estimate when they'll arrive. This can enhance the informative quality of the letter.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to break up longer sentences for improved clarity. For instance, consider breaking "It's been ages we have met" into two shorter sentences for better readability.
coherence and cohesion
Remember to proofread your letter for minor grammatical errors, such as 'I have sent some essentials products,' which should be 'essential products.' This helps to maintain professionalism in your writing.
suitable writing tone
The tone of your letter is warm and friendly, which is appropriate for writing to a friend.
complete response
You successfully conveyed your excitement about your friend's move, which adds a personal touch to the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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